BONZ: Bonz is fast friends with fun-loving greyhounds

Couple weeks ago I got a Woofmail from Scooter Zwerner to see if I’d like to interview him and his best buddy, Sophia. He said, “We are two really kewl Italian Greyhounds that wood just wuv to meet The Bonz.” Well, of COURSE I would! There’s nothing I like better than hearing from you poocheroos and getting’ to meet you in the fur. (Bread comes in a close second.)
So, anyway, we set it up. Before the door opened, me an my assistant could hear teeny little toenails on the floor an somebody bark-bark-barkin’ like mad. When the door opened, there they both were – a couple of the snazziest little poocheroos I’ve ever seen – one black an white, an the other silvery gray (that color humans call blue for some reason).
The “blue” one was real excited, bouncing and barkety-barkin’ non-stop. Wagging, too. The black-an-white one said, “We’re SO happy you could come see us! Can we call you Bonz? I’m Scooter. This little bark-box is Sophia.  She’s my silly adopted sister. An this is our Mom, Linda. Come’on in. Hey, Soph, turn down the vocals.”
After the Wag-and-Sniffs, while we got settled, I noticed how elegant they looked. Like regular greyhounds but lots smaller, real graceful, with flipped-over ears and long, slim sniffers.
Coming to a halt, Sophia said, “I’m way excited to meet you, Mr. Bonz! I’ve just always had lots of energy and I love to sing the songs of my people. Didja know our breed is like 2 thousand years old? Royal humans in YOUR-up usta have us as pets, and a buncha them had big fancy pik-shures painted of them with us, all dressed up. Queens and kings, even.”
“Pawsome!” I exclaimed. “I’m eager to hear your stories.”
After sharing nosebumps with my assistant, they both (gracefully) jumped up onto this sunny, really long, Totally Cool Kibbles window seat, with a whole buncha pillows. Scooter curled (elegantly) on a black and white zebra-lookin’ pillow that Perfectly Matched His Coat, and rested his chin on another. Sophia reclined right next to him, crossing her paws (delicately), displaying a pooch-perfect pedicure. “I bet these two are ALWAYS ready for their close-ups,” I thought.
“So, how did you find your Forever Home?”
Scooter was spokespooch. “Our Mom had an Italian Greyhound named Spresso. Then there was a TRA-judee. Spresso got hit by a car and went to Dog Heaven. Later Mom was on line and saw my pik-shure. Well, you know how super, barfingly, irresistibly cute we all are when we’re puppies, right?”
“Fer sure!” I replied.
“I was, like, the size of a softball. So Mom an Dad adopted me. Dad’s Josh. Him and Mom had something called a duh-VORCE. (That’s when humans hafta decide who gets the DVD’s.) So Dad lives Elsewhere now. They have Joint Custody of me an Soph.”
“Soggy Dog Biscuits!” I sympathized.
“Ackshully, it’s workin’ out OK for us. Dad’s close by, so they share dog-sitting duty. An we get lotsa snacks. Anyway, after a coupla years, Mom noticed I seemed a little glum, so she decided to get a pal for me. Her human kids saw Soph in Dania and told Mom. Mom said to Text her a pik-shure. But they brought her the whole puppy instead.
“I was 2 by then. Me an Soph hit it off right away. I was so happy to have a little sis, even though she’s kinda a goofball and I’m laid back, not a goofy bone in my body. Now I’m 7 an she’s 5, and we’re Total Besties. At first, though, she had this Chewing Issue. Mostly pillows. But she outgrew it, thank Lassie, cuz we LOVE our pillows, as you can see.” He rearranged his head on the zebra pillow, and continued.
“We love bein’ in the car! Specially goin’ to the Dog Park! When we’re crossin’ the bridge, getting’ closer, we start wigglin’ an whinin’, we’re SO excited. Cuz we’re greyhounds, the humans always tell Mom they wanna see us run. But we don’t run much at the Dog Park. We just chillax with Mom. Not that we CAN’T run. We’re Super Speedy. Just not there. Let the other pooches run all over the place. Then, after the Dog Park, we go to Casey’s for a snack. Me and Soph share half a hot dog, and Mom gets the other half. Her half has sauerkraut (which is some sort of veg-tubble, I think). We like our half just plain.”
“I notice you have a pool. Do you swim?”
“No! Never! We don’ like water, ’cept in our bowls.”
“Even baths?”
“’Specially baths! At first Mom tried the shower, but we scratched up the shower door tryin’ to escape. Now we get tub baths, an Mom hasta hold us, cuz we whine an wiggle. Thank Lassie we have super short coats an don’t need lotsa grooming.”
“Well, you both look shiny an pawsome!” I told them. “Even your toenails. But with such short hair, don’t you sometimes get chilly?”
“Thanks, Mr. Bonz,” Sophia chimed in. “We just had pedi’s yesterday. We do love to sit in the sun. When it gets really cold outside, Mom puts sweaters on us so we stay snuggly.”
“Well it sounds like you pooches have a pretty happy life,” I commented.
“We do!” they said.
Scooter added, “These days, we’ve been concentratin’ on keepin’ Mom cheered up, cuz she’s been sorta sad lately. We sleep with her in our nice big bed. She thinks it’s hers, but we don’t mind. We snuggle right up on each side and make a Mom Sanwich.”
Heading home, I remembered hearin’ somewhere that we’re in the Dog Days of Summer. Do you know what that even means? I didn’t. So I Googled. It’s when that Dog Star, Sirius, gets up at the same time the sun does, an the weather’s hot an everybody’s s’pose to be droopy and lazy. Well, I say – are you SIRIUS? (See what I did there?) I’M gonna frolic an play an run around!
As long as  I can get to the A/C.




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