This week’s yap was with Bailey Williammee, who’s a peppy poocheroo mix. When me an my assistant drove up, he was in the yard with his Mom, doing a little jumpin’ and barkin’, and he trotted over politely for the Wag-and-Sniff.
“Hello, Mr. Bonzo,” he said. “I usually check out visitors to be sure they’re OK, but I recognized you right away from the picture in your column. Welcome to our house! I’m excited you’re gonna interview me. This is my Mom, Susan. My Dad’s David. Wudja like a water or something? We can go inside and sit, OK?”
“It’s a pleasure, Bailey,” I said. “Lead the way. I understand you’re a mix. You look sorta Beagle-y. What else ya got goin’ on?”
“Well, I got Beagle an Jack Russell an Basset. You mighta noticed, my legs are super short. That’s the Basset. Plus, I have this turn-out. Hadda have SURgery. When I’m walkin’, my pawprints are sorta like 1, 2, 3 – swoosh!”
I had noticed his left front paw was aimed to the side. I thought it looked kinda rakish.
“So, Bailey, how’d you find your Forever Family?”
“I’m about 7 now. When I was around 2, what I thought was my Forever Family decided to sail around the whole, entire world – without ME. So they put out an ad that said: ‘Free to a good home.’
“Woof! Bummer!” I commented.
“Yeah. I guess some countries aren;t all that pooch-frenly. PLUS, I heard that SOME countries ACKshully have pooches for LUNCH.”
“You mean …”
“Yep.”
“Woof!”
“Anyway, it turned out pawsome for me. I have The Best Family Ever! See, my human sister, Brookey, was friends with my first family an, when she met me, she thought I’d be perfect for my (new) Mom and Dad, so we leash-walked over to visit ’em. Last time Dad had a dog was when he was a puppy himself. I liked ’em right away, so I did my best to be charming. Ackshully, I was already Fully Trained and very well behaved. So, when me an Brookey left, Dad said to Mom, ‘We should get that dog!’ So my first owners brought me back for a meet-an-greet, and it all worked out.”
“Cool Kibbles!” I exclaimed.
“Only thing was, Mom and Dad had two cats, Galadriel and Sparrow (he’s named for that pirate), so there was a little learning curve. Now me an the cats peacefully (mostly) Coexist. We even nap together sometimes. Truth is, I’m pretty much an Only Dog, don’t care much for having a buncha pooch buddies.
“I hear ya.”
“I tell ya, Bonzo, I’m havin’ so much fun. Where we usta live, right on the canal, we’d go out in the boat, and I got to meet a buncha manatees (THOSE guys are super fren-ly). I LOVE the water. Then we moved. I didn’t wanna go at first, but THIS is even BETTER. Now we’re on the river, and there’s a lotta islands, and a lotta boats. I love being on the beach or out on the river or the ocean, with the wind blowing my ears. It’s an adVENture! An swimmin’! I LOVE swimmin’! I swim kinda sideways cuz of my foot, so I’m not all that graceful, but I’m good at it.
“I like to jump! I can jump to catch treats, but, cuzza my short legs, I can’t go as high as I wish I could. One time I was tryin’ to jump on top of a big sand pile, so I took a Mighty Leap. But it turned out to be just a Semi-Mighty Leap, and I ran smack into that stupid sand pile. Got a snootful! Dog, was I embarrassed!”
I tried not to laugh.
“I guess I do kinda bark a lot,” Bailey continued. “I’m not spose to bark at ’stuff, but sometimes I just can’t HELP it. It’s the Jack Russell in me. But I only bark to say hello to the boaters. An the paddleboarders. An the kayakers. An the pelicans. An manatees. An dolphins. An when Dad comes home. (HE barks back!) Oh, and, guess what!”
“What?”
“There’s this little tour boat that goes by my house every day – it’s called Indian River Wildlife Tours – an I’M a highlight of the tour (I’m pretty sure), even though I’m not wildlife. I watch for ’em, an then I run out just at the right time and bark ‘Hello,’ and they all wave an sometimes take my pic-sure. Isn’t that Super Cool Dog Biscuits?”
“Totes!”
“When Brookey comes home from college, she likes to dress me up, like for Christmas an St. Patrick’s Day an stuff. To tell you the truth, I don’t really love it, I mean, do I LOOK like a poodle? But I do it (just long enough for her to get a picture) cuz it makes her happy. I do kinda like that Seminole jersey, though, cuz that’s from her school. An, didja know, I have a FAN club! It’s Mom’s tennis team, the Net Chicks! I go watch ’em and cheer ’em on.”
As usual, the time had gone by really fast. Heading home, I was thinking of adventurous Bailey – a big dog in a little dog body – having fun livin’ his life on the water, and bark, bark, barkin’ – but always politely.
Till next time,
The Bonz
