This week my original interview had to cancel, and I was scrambling. Then I heard about a pooch up in Sebastian who was available, thank Lassie, so me and my assistant headed up to yap with Smeagol Dwier – all three pounds of her. Her Mom, Mindy, works at H.A.L.O., that pawsome No-Kill Rescue Shelter, so were met there. I think it was Take Your Dog To Work Day, or somethin’.
Smeagol’s Mom was holding her when they came to the reception room to meet us, so – no wag and sniff. We went back to a quiet exam room to yap.
“Thanks for fitting me into your schedule on such short notice, Miss Smeagol,” I told her.
“Oh, is no problemo, Senor Bonzo,” she said. “And, por favor, call me Smeags.”
I’d already figured out how she got her kinda odd name. She was named for Smeagol the Hobbit from Lord of the Rings, and Woof! did she look just like him, but wa-ay cuter. She was very dainty and frail looking, and she had these gi-NOR-mous pointy black ears and the boogliest eyes I ever saw. They looked in two directions at once. Her fur was really Cool Dog Biscuits, too – white shirt, black and white face and black and white polka dot pants, No Woof!
Her Mom put her down on the floor, and Smeags immediately began running in little circles, counterclockwise. She’d stop for, like, half a second, then back she’d go, her teeny little toenails clicking like one of those Spanish dancer’s castanets.
“Er, are you OK?” I asked.
“Oh, si, si!” she said, still running. ”I just have this condishun. My doctor told my Mama it is perhaps agua in my head. I hafta run around everything, tables, couches, chairs. Sometimes I do this sideways thing, also.”
So I asked questions and she answered, doing circles and sideways things the whole time, ‘cept when her Mom was holding her.
“So, Miss Smeags, tell me about yourself. How did you meet your Mom?”
“I was muy afortunado, Senor Bonzo. It was about a year and one half ago. My first humans were going to have a bebe, so they brought me here. I do not understand that, but I’m glad they did. If you think I am pequeño now, you shoulda seen me then – I weighed only una libra, one pound! The moment my Mama saw me, she thought I was headed for perro heaven right then and there. So she (and my Papa, Ian) adopted me. Mama took me to the dog medico and I’m mucho better, but it took me a very long time to not be scared of humans. Mama y Papa are wonderful, but other humans still make me poco nervioso, especially when I have Mood Swings.”
The whole time she was talking, she was doing laps, until her Mom picked her up.
“Guess what, Senor Bonzo, I have six dog brothers and sisters! Diego, Ragamuffin, Pedro and Nina, they’re all Chihuahuas. Then there’s Kelly, he’s a Toy Fox Terrier. And Ichabod! He es mi mejor amigo! He’s a Chinese Crested! Four times bigger than me! We do everything together! At home, me and my brothers and sister just run all over the yard, having the best time! They say I’m a bossy-pants, but they don’t really mind. I say I’m a natural-born leader, like Pancho Villa. I relate to him because he was born in Chihuahua, Mexico.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said, writing like mad, trying to keep from watching her endless circling and circling. It was mesmerizing.
“Well, you sure have a lot of energy,” I observed. She wasn’t even panting, and I was getting pooped just watching her. And a little dizzy.
“I do,” she agreed. “And, when I get tired, I just hop up on my sectional for a pequeña siesta. I sleep there at night, too.”
What else do you do for fun?”
“I’m not a big fan of toys. They are muy scary. And most of them are bigger than me. But I LOVE board games, especially ones with lots of little pieces. My Mama and Papa and their friends play many board games and I kibitz, to make sure they always make the best moves. And, even though it’s really hard when they’re making the wrong move, I always keep my paws to myself.”
“How about treats?” I asked.
“I enjoy Pupperoni. But my paws-down favorite snack is French Fries. I could eat a whole bag. Just today, my Mama bought some, just to share with me. I don’t get many, though. I so much like coming to work with Mama. I get to play with all my shelter amigos and,” she leaned toward me, “all the humans think I’m really cute, and they give me treats. Mom says I’ve mastered the art of Making Myself Look Pathetic.” She broke into a big Chihuahua smile, and said “I think it’s important to use the gifts we’ve been given, don’t you agree?”
Heading home, I was thinking about tiny Smeags and all the other pooches I’ve met who have overcome so much and finally found wonderful Forever Families, often because of places like H.A.L.O. and the Humane Society and other groups. I’ve noticed that when humans make life better for animals, the animals usually end up making life better for their humans, too. Know what I mean?
Till next time,
The Bonz
