This week I got to interview an energetic, really barky pupster who’s in training to be a service dog. Maxwell Osterhoudt is what I like to call a Pomer-Wa-Wa (Pomeranian/Chihuahua), and he’s only 1 ½ years old. He has three Human Moms – Erica and Stephanie, and their Mom, Debbie – and one Dad, Dave. Maxwell also has a step-dog brother, Mickey Mouse; two step-lizard brothers, Boots and Scrafty; two step-rat brothers, Elfi and Alston; and a step-guinea pig sister, Sugar.
Maxwell’s studying to be Erica’s very own service dog and he’s already doing a great job. When me and my assistant knocked, almost everybody came to the door. Their Dad, who’s a mailman (but likes dogs, anyway) was on his route; Sugar was practicing on her tiny treadwheel; and Elfi and Alston were doing whatever rats do.
Foregoing the usual Wag-and-Sniff, Maxwell opted for the extended bark! And he is great at it. So great, that he covers his own ears, I woof you not! So me and my assistant covered ours, too.
“BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!”
Finally, when his Moms had assured him he’d done a good job, he shushed and trotted over next to me.
“Hi, Mr. Bonzo. How’d I do? I keep forgetting the whatcha-call-it, the Wag? The Sniffle? It’s just that I love to bark! My Moms say I ‘m Loud and Proud.”
“Yes,” I said in a friendly way, taking my paws off my ears. “I can see that. You certainly have a nice big voice! Very big. And, it’s the Wag-and-Sniff. Don’t worry. You’ll catch on. So tell me, how did you find your Forever Family?”
“All I remember is, I was a little pupster, running down the street, scared and lost and hungry, when the Dog Catcher grabbed me and took me to the Humane Society. They tidied me up and gave me water and stuff to eat and a cage to sit in. Humans would come by and look in the cages, and all us pooches would try to look irresistible. So one day, my Moms came by looking for an Australian shepherd, but the one they had in mind was already adopted. Instead, they found me, thank Lassie!
“Me and my Main Mom Erica got along right away. I always feel happiest when I’m just hangin’ with her. I help her keep from getting too anxious and when she’s Having A Hard Time, I help her Bridge the Gap – it just comes natural to me. I also remind her to take her meds, and I remind my Moms when it’s time for Mickey to get his meds, too. It’s very important work, Mr. Bonzo. And did you notice my Service Dog Vest? I’m learning how to Behave Under All Circumstances. I can sit quietly with Mom, and I’m getting really good in stores.”
“That is a very snazzy vest,” I told him. “And you sure have an important job, which not just any pooch can do. So, tell me – what do you like to do when you’re not training?”
To illustrate, Maxwell bounced to his feet and began to bob back and forth. “Pouncing! I love pouncing! I pounce on my stuffed toys. Then I sling them around ‘till they fall apart. I also pounce on Mickey, but not as much as I used to ‘cuz he’s old. I pounce on bugs and lizards, too. Not Boots or Scrafty, of course. When I first came here, there was another dog, Spirit, a black lab. He always let me pounce on him. He was like my cool big brother. When he went to dog heaven, I’d lie down on his grave, ‘cuz I was so sad. And I pretended we were still playing together. I’d pounce on the garden gnomes my Moms put by his spot in the yard. I’m pretty sure Spirit sends me lizards to pounce on, too, ‘cuz there’s always lots of ‘em and he knew I ‘specially liked lizards.”
He stopped for a moment, and sniffed. I knew he was missing his friend.
“I don’t like baths or swimming pools,” he continued, “but I love to play in the waves at the beach! ‘Course I get all wet and sandy, so my Moms have to hose me off. I’m also great at catching Frisbees in mid-air. Bam! You should see me jump! And when my Moms are in the kitchen, I bounce up and down to see what’s cookin’. I also play with the squirrels in our yard. They remind me of Elfi an Alston, but with fluffy tails. Plus, our rats don’t ever want to play with me, for some reason. We take regular leash walks twice a day, checkin’ out the neighborhood. I like bein’ brushed – and getting my teeth brushed – but not getting my nails clipped. That’s scary. And I help out by grooming Mickey’s ears and face. After all, he puts up with me pouncing on him, so it’s only fair, dontcha think?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied. “Well, it’s been a real pleasure yapping with you, Maxwell. You have a terrific blended family. I admire you for the wonderful work you do, learning to be a loving pooch friend, especially considering how young you still are.”
“Thank you, Mr. Bonzo,” Maxwell replied. “That means a lot!”
And as we headed to the car, we could hear him, joyfully – and loudly – calling after us:
“BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!”
Till next time,
The Bonz
