Hi dog buddies. Elsa Kebbel is (mostly) a German shorthaired pointer with, probably, some Weimaraner – very stylish and very German. She’s pretty big, too, about 75 pounds. I first spotted her, pulling her Mom, Chris, toward the Stormwater Park where she exercises. We set up a yap for the very next day.
When we arrived at her home, Elsa got so excited when me and my assistant dashed through the door ‘cuz it was raining dogs and dogs. After the obligatory wag-and-sniff, we settled in.
Elsa’s color was totally fierce, one I hadn’t seen before, sorta cocoa, real short and shiny. The color’s called liver, for Lassie’s sakes, which is a yucky name, dontcha think? Her Mom doesn’t like it either. She says, since Elsa is the same color as her car, she should use that name – Urban Titanium. Cool, but it’d be sorta hard to call her home for supper. “Heeeerrreeee, Urban Ti-taniummmmmm!!!”
From all that Pointer in her, she had gotten white sox with liver (uck) polkadots, and more polkadots on her face and chest.
Her Dad, John, got up from the La-Z-Boy recliner which, Elsa told me, is actually HERS. Didn’t matter ‘cuz Elsa draped herself onto her Mom’s lap. “That’s where I I recline to watch Dog TV on my widescreen.”
“There’s an actual Dog Channel?” I was incredulous.
“Oh, yes. It’s great! All dogs, all the time. 24-7. I used to watch from a crate, but I graduated to the house … after I learned not to eat Dad’s shoes and Mom’s glasses – and swim fins. One time I chewed the cover and the first three chapters of Dad’s Essential Parallel Bible. Woof! I STILL hear about that one! I thought it’d be OK since I didn’t swallow. Just chew and spit. But I was wrong.”
“So, Miss Elsa, how’d you find your Forever Family?”
“Well, Mom and Dad were talking about getting a dog. Mom went on vaca and Dad thought he’d just go take a little look-see at the Humane Society. No commitment, he thought. I was just a pupster then, about 6 months old, and I was adorable. He looked like a nice, friendly human so I put on my most irresistible, sad-eyed, wet-nose puppy face.
Bammo! That was it. But he says he was so dazzled by my adorableness that he forgot to think about how big I was gonna get when I stopped being a puppy and grew into my feet. Isn’t that funny? Anyway, at the Humane Society, Dad took a video of adorable me with my nose through the cage, nuzzling his hand. Now, whenever Mom gets exasperated with me, he shows her the video. Works, too.”
“Do you exercise just in the park?” I asked her.
“Oh, no. I love to go to Wabasso and splash in the river. There’s a nice little lake at Stormwater Park but I don’t go in it ‘cuz of alligators. They’ll bite your face off! And,” she lowered her voice and leaned in, “sometimes we go to a Secret Spot where I can run off-leash with some pooch pals.”
I gasped.
“But,” she continued, “My absolute favorite place to run and play is when I go with dad on horseback rides at Whispering Pines. There’s other pooches to run with and the horses are fun, too, once you get used to how big they are. I just come up to their knees. And there’s this donkey who’s freaky scary. A total Grump! We all stay away from her. When I’m in my fenced yard, my favorite thing to do is DIG. I ‘specially like to dig for lizards, but not catch ‘em. Sometimes, on walks, I wear this goofy saddlebag thing, to carry water for me and dad. It’s not that heavy, and Mom says I’m getting more cardio. But I say I should get more treats for being a Beast of Burden.”
“Any special pooch pals?” I inquired.
“Yup, lots. Mom and Dad are teachers and their teacher friend Jack’s daughter has a dog I like to run with. Her name’s Emma, she’s a mix. We’re Besties. And,” she gave a little snorty giggle, “I had a boyfriend, a real hotdog – Buddy. We used to run together at the Bark Park. But it was just Puppy Love. Ooooh, and Mom and Dad say that in December they’re going to be grandparents – and I’m gonna be Aunt Elsa to a little Human. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Absolutely! So, you’re a nice big, sturdy German girl … do you have a special big bed?”
“Oh, yes. Dad said NO WAY was I gonna sleep in their bed, even though I tried and I really wanted to. ‘You’re not sleeping in THIS bed!’ were his exact words. So they got a nice big, king=size bed for me and put it in their room, and I let them sleep in it with me.”
“Pretty slick,” I told her, admiringly.
“Do you like car rides? I do!” I told her.
“Yes! We go to Orlando to pick up people at the airport. That’s pretty fun. And we go on little rides. At Burger King, I get a sausage patty. At Cumberland Farms, I get a Slim Jim 2-pack. One for now and one for later.”
Then it was time to go. The rain had stopped. Elsa said goodbye over her shoulder, and headed for the backyard to dig and chase a few lizards.
Driving home, I thought I’d check with my Humans to see whether we could get Dog TV. Couldn’t hurt to ask, right?
