Hi, dog buddies! You know how humans say “You can’t judge a book by its cover?“ I think I figured out what that means. The pooch I interviewed this week is Carly Morris, a Labrador retriever who lives in Sebastian. I always thought Labs were rough-and-tumbly, roughhousing with each other, sort of a Dog’s Dog, y’know? And that girl labs were all tomboys.
Well, Carly’s different, not in looks, but in personality. She’s athletic, but totally not a tomboy! She’s a chocolate lab, going on 10. She barked a greeting when we knocked on her Mom’s office door. (Her Mom and Dad are in law enforcement, but Carly isn’t.)
After the wag-and-sniff, Carly said, “It’s a pleasure, Mr. Bonzo. I understand you’re a journalist and write a column about dogs. That’s lovely. I haven’t read it myself, but Mom likes it. This is her – Michelle – and her mom, Granma Buddy. Dad’s name is Dane. He works in Vero. I also have two human brothers, Dane Jr. and Ryan. We’re meeting here ‘cuz Mom has to work late. What would you like to know?”
“Just the usual: How you got your family, what your life’s like, stuff you like to do, adventures, like that.”
“First off,” she said, “in the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you I don’t care for dogs. I’ve always preferred the company of humans. No offense, I hope.”
“None taken,” I replied, with sincerity.
“OK, good. I’m absolutely a Momma’s Girl! I go to bed and get up with her. My stuffed duck sleeps with me, too. I love my brothers’ parties and Mom and Dad’s get-togethers ‘cuz I’m the center of attention and get lots of treats.
“Six years ago, my brothers wanted another dog. They hadn’t had one since they were ‘puppies,’ so they adopted me from the Humane Society. Dane picked me. Mom says I was the noisiest dog there, and I was, too! I wasn’t gonna let them get away, so I made sure I got noticed. I was uncomfortable with those other dogs, I just wanted a people family again. Plus, I had just had puppies but they were gone before I was found, alone, on the street. I sorta blocked out what happened, I just don’t remember. But I felt so lost. Anyway, all my barking worked. After only a coupla weeks with them, I realized I was HOME! They love me SO MUCH!”
“Oh, Carly, that’s a great story,” I said.
“I know. I’m a lucky girl. Oooh, here’s a story I just thought of. I had this really bad injury last year. I tore my right rear ACL!”
Oh for Lassie’s sakes! I thought only humans did that!”
“Apparently not. It was awful! I was running away from my brother’s dog, who wanted to play, but I didn’t! Suddenly there was this loud POP! and down I went. I yelped really loud ‘cuz It hurt something fierce! They took me to my regular doctor, Dr. Moon, and he sent me to a doctor in Melbourne for special surgery. I was in therapy for 3 months. I couldn’t walk on it AT ALL. So guess what Mom and Dad did? They got this sturdy Publix shopping bag, with handles, cut the sides, and put it around my middle, so whenever I had to go potty or something they could lift my whole rear end off the ground by the bag handles and off we’d go. I felt like a wheelbarrow. But it worked. And I’m all better now.”
“Whaddya you do for fun?”
“I have 6 acres to play in. And a pond, with ducks. I love to take a running start off the dock and go flying into the pond. I’m an excellent swimmer, and I’m careful not to disturb the ducks and sandhill cranes. We all share. Except the armadillos. Mom says they’re a BIG PAIN, and destroy the garden and burrow under the foundation. So whenever I see one, I bark to alert Mom and Dad and the next thing you know, it’s gone.
“As you see, I believe in good grooming: I get hose baths, and monthly mani-pedis. I enjoy the pampering. Sometimes I flop onto my back and relax while the nail tech’s working. See how pretty?” She held up one nicely trimmed paw. “And I don’t feel fully dressed without my collar. I’ve been called prissy and a diva but I don’t mind. I enjoy being a girl.”
Her blue collar had a matching leash attached, since Granma Buddy was taking her home later. As if on cue, her Mom called her over and removed the collar. Carly immediately put her paws on her Mom’s lap, nudged the collar with her nose and made little woofy noises. Her Mom smiled and put the collar back on. “She knows I don‘t like to have my collar off. She was just showing you. I’m simply not comfortable without it.
“I already knew lots of commands when they got me. I’m very obedient. And never grouchy. I can snooze wherever I want, and I eat delicious Rachel Ray Gourmet Dog Food. One time, “ she lowered her voice, ”even though I NEVER jump up on the counter, Mom had baked this vanilla cake and there it was! When she came back from an errand, it was still on the counter, but half of it was gone. Even though there weren’t any crumbs on the counter or on me, Mom KNEW. She just cut off the nibbled-on edges and it was perfectly good. I like the way she thinks!”
Time flies and I had to leave. I love my job!
