This week I interviewed a breed of pooch I’d never met in the fur before – a pair of Pomeranians. They were Princess and Bear Parker, who live in Roseland with their human Mom, Liz. So as not to appear totally clueless, I Googled the breed (sure, I Google, don’t you?) and found out they came from Pomerania, which is now part of Germany and Poland, and wa-ay before that, they came from an even older breed – the Spitz.
I figured after all that time they’d be speaking English but, just in case, I practiced woofing “Guten Tag!” (I was buddies with a German shepherd neighbor when I was a pupster.)
Anyway, we knocked, the door opened and out shot two red puff balls. “Mr. Bonzo!! Mr. Bonzo!! Mom always reads us your column! Do we get our picture in the paper? Are we gonna be famous? Oh, I’m Bear. This is Princess. And this is our Mom.” I was relieved I wouldn’t have to attempt my one and only German phrase.
They were so bouncy and friendly and full of woofs that I was afraid to move for fear I’d step on one of them, so their Mom scooped them up and we all went into the living room. Princess sat right next to their Mom on one side of the big recliner, and Bear draped himself over her on the other side.
Once they had stopped boinging around, I could see they were really pretty, delicate looking pooches. They were both very, very small, Princess being the larger. She was a lighter red, and she had nice cream-colored fur around her face. Bear was dark red all over. He looked like a furry loaf of bread with legs. With their cute little faces, pointy noses and big, really fluffy tails, I thought they sort of resembled foxes, but I kept that to myself.
“I’m the Alpha in this family,” Bear said, jumping down and standing proud. “Princess is 14 and she weighs 10 pounds. She’s more laid back than me. I’m 8. And I weigh 6 whole pounds. Mom says I should go on a diet. I only weighed one and a half pounds when I was a pupster. I’m called a Teacup Pomeranian. And guess what? We Poms used to be a lot bigger, but then Queen Victoria discovered us and thought we were the cutest dogs ever, and took us to her castle in England and somehow got us to be smaller like we are now. I’m not really sure how she did that, but she was the Queen, so I guess she could do anything, right?”
“Right!” I agreed, taking notes as fast as I could. “So, tell me how you two got your Forever family.”
“Well, a really long time ago Mom and Dad had two other dogs and, when they went to Dog Heaven, it took her 14 years before she was ready for another dog. So she got Princess. When Dad went to heaven, Princess took good care of Mom. Then Mom’s daughter-in-law saw an ad in the paper for Pom pups and – it was my litter. She convinced Mom to just check us out. Mom wanted another girl pooch but, lucky for me, I was the only one left. And here I am. I just took over right away, being an Alpha and all. Me and Princess get along great. She was happy to have another pooch to help her with her watch dog duties – and to play with, of course. Plus, I always wash her face and make sure she’s groomed properly in between our monthly professional grooming at Miss Diane’s. I even help her clean her teeth.”
“You do?” That was a new one on me.
“Honest to dog!” He said.
Suddenly, Princess jumped down from the recliner, hopped into my assistant’s lap and began giving her lots of kisses, which made her laugh and friffle Princess’s ears. Eventually, their Mom came over and took Princess back to the recliner.
“She just loves humans,” Bear said.
“Clearly,” I replied. “So, whaddya do for fun?”
“We have a nice fenced yard and our own little dog door on the pool porch. I love to sit and look into the pool. I never actually touch it, though. And sometimes there’s this other dog looking back at me. It’s the weirdest thing. Oh, and we enjoy tormenting squirrels. When they climb up on the screen, we run back and forth and bark like crazy just to tease them, and mom squirts ‘em with the hose so they won’t sneak in.“
“Do you travel much?”
“Well, once when I was just a pupster, Mom put me in a little cage thingy with just my head sticking out and we flew on a plane up to Long Island for a family visit. That was pretty fun. I mostly napped. But now we just go for car rides.”
“You guys really seem to like being with your Mom.” By then, they were both back on the recliner, one on each side. Princess was enjoying a little nap.
“Oh, yes! She’s the best. We get to sleep with her, of course. She has to help us on and off the bed cuz it’s so high.
“We can’t even see the top of it from the floor.” Bear lowered his voice and spoke behind his paw. “I’m pretty sure I’m her favorite.
“And Mom gives us snacks if we ask politely. She gets tiny little bone-shaped chewy ones and breaks them in half so we won’t get too fat. Each snack has 5 calories! That can really add up, ya know.”
I guess, when you only weigh 6 pounds, 5 calories is a lot.
We said our goodbyes and, as I glanced back, Bear was already carefully grooming Princess, who was still happily snoozing on their Mom’s lap, all three comfy in the big recliner.
Till next time,
The Bonz
