I had the coolest adventure last week. Heading home from an interview, I spotted a bunch of cars at the fairgrounds north of Vero on 58th Avenue, and a big sign out front said “Dog Show!” So I woofed a big woof and my assistant turned in.
WELL, I’ve never EVER seen so many breeds of pupperoonies in one place! All the way from Affenpinschers to Yorkshire Terriers, and every single one of them totally READY FOR THEIR CLOSE UP! Every square inch of every single pooch was floofed and poofed and spiffed up like you wouldn’t believe. But they weren’t yapping with each other. They were mostly sitting in their crates or standing like statues on tall tables, with a neck chain and short little leash attached to a pole, while their humans groomed the fluff out of them. And they seemed to be enjoying it. Well, I guess a lot of you have been in dog shows, right? But it was all new to me.
I looked around for a dog buddy and finally approached a big friendly looking pooch who was getting groomed and seemed sorta bored. I put my professional face on and said, politely, “Um, excuse me. I’m a newshound and I’m doing a story for THE local paper. I wondered if I could ask you some questions.”
“Sure,” he said. “My name’s Toby Biehl and I’m a Bernese Mountain Dog, from Switzerland, y’know. But I’m new at this game. How’s ‘bout I introduce you to my pal, Doug Beard. He’s s pro. A champion! Got tons of points.”
“Pawsome!” I said, trying to look like I had a clue what that meant.
About two minutes later, I was yapping with Doug Beard himself, a spiffy little red and white champion Pembroke Welsh Corgi. I thought he’d be kinda snooty but he wasn’t.”
“What’s it like being in Dogshow Biz?”
“A lot more fun than you’d think,” he said. “Actually, I love it! It’s a trip meeting so many other pooches, different breeds from all over the world. This show’s put on by the Treasure Coast Kennel Club, which is part of the American Kennel Club.”
He noticed my blank look and added, “That’s the BIG GROUP of humans who do the shows we all want to compete in. Right now, I’m a Champion and I’m working on my Grand Champion points. See, whenever we win in a class, we get points. My human, Rebecca, knew right away I’d be good in a show. I look good, as you can see. AND I just love it. I guess I’m sort of a show off. It’s great being out there, doing my stuff, with all the judges and other pooches watching. I’m small, but PROUD. In the show ring I stand tall, y’know? I was born for the spotlight! My Mom started me out in the puppy matches when I was 4 months old, sort of on-the-job training. Now I’m 2 and on my way to the TOP!”
I was totally impressed. All I could come up with was “Wow!”
“Lemme tell you ‘bout this scary thing that happened to me,” Doug continued.
I was all ears.
“Mom was loading me and her bag and all my show gear into her van when the door accidently shut and locked itself. Which it’s totally not supposed to do. I was scared but I managed to remain calm. But Mom freaked. She couldn’t get to me. Finally she called a police person and he broke a window to rescue me. She’s really mad at the car people.”
“Well, yeah,” I said, thinking what that must have been like. It made me nervous just imagining it. “You sure seem like an upbeat pooch,” I observed.
“Oh, I am! And I love to wag. Humans enjoy it, I’ve noticed. I just wag and wag, and smile, most all the time. But I’m just a normal pooch when I’m not doing a show. And, I don’t really mention this too much, but I’ve always dreamed of being a therapy dog, making people smile. Yesterday, right here, I tried for my Canine Good Citizen certificate and passed with flying colors. I’m really proud of that! I love helping humans. And they seem to need a lot of help, I’ve noticed.”
“Yes, they do,” I agreed.
“Anyway, I dig hanging with Mom, just relaxing and kicking back. She gives me Purina Pro Plan. I’m not a picky eater. For snacks, I enjoy broccoli and carrots. Oh, and – pancakes.”
“Say what?”
“Yep, loved ‘em since I was a pupster!”
“Any special pals?” I asked.
“Other than all my show pals, I have a little brother, Cooper. He does shows, too. Likes ‘em as much as I do. He’s a black-headed, tri-color Corgi, which is pretty unusual, so he really stands out in the ring. The judges mostly like that. He’s a natural. In fact, yesterday he got Best of Winners. He sort of follows my lead, and I guide him and give him pointers. We have our little tiffs, of course, like all brothers, right? But he’s the coolest little bro.”
The announcer called his class. “Oops, gotta go,” he said. “Great meeting you, Bonz!.”
“Same here,” I called, watching him trot off, looking fabulous.
Heading home, I thought how cool those show dogs were, but that dogshow biz was not for me. Pancakes, on the other hand …
‘till next time.