Have you ever wondered if a loved one or family friend may be suffering from mental illness, but didn’t know what to look for or how to approach the subject? According to statistics provided from NAMI, consider the following: 1 in 4 adults – approximately 57.7 million Americans – experience a mental health disorder in any given year.
One in 17 lives with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, major depression or bipolar disorder; and about one in 10 children have a serious mental or emotional disorder. Regardless of race, age religion or economic status, mental illness impacts the lives of millions across the US.
When their 34-year-old son committed suicide after struggling for years with depression, Claudia and Dick McClaine knew their lives would never be the same.
The couple met when Claudia was studying for her RN degree in Bangor, Maine, and Dick, an Air Force navigator, was stationed at Dow AFB in Bangor. They married and moved to his next duty station in California, where they welcomed two daughters, Stephanie and Laurie. It was at Dick’s next duty station, Hickam AFB on Oahu, Hawaii, that they couple adopted 1-month-old Jim.
Five years after Jim’s death, Claudia, with steadfast support from Dick, wrote a book about the family’s struggles and the tragic culmination, “Damaged Goods.” In it, she describes the beginning of their journey into darkness:
“Jim’s first few years were a delight; he was the love of my life. One of my fondest memories was when we had lunch together – he talked, I listened. I memorized his teeth, so clean and perfect, in his beautiful little face. However, there were times when he scared me. When he did not get his own way, he would kick and scream; during those times he would become as strong as a grown man but he was not yet three. I saw something in his eyes that I can only describe as Satanic. He also began to say horrible words. I would often ask the physicians about my anxieties. They would dismiss it as an overprotective mother. We were in Florida, our daughters were suffering, and I had no time for them. I sought release in my Journal. God became my constant companion. We did not know that we were raising a schizophrenic child.
But clearly something was terribly wrong and they desperately sought help. Claudia remembers how Jim would tell her things people would say to him and how he frequently felt that he didn’t fit in. As he grew into a young man, the episodes intensified, often became violent. The police would be called. Claudia remembers one horrific incident at home. In a violent struggle with law enforcement, Jim stuck his head. “There was blood all over the room.”
When Jim wasn’t in a rage, he was sinking deeper and deeper into depression. At last, in 2003, he could struggle no longer and chose, instead, to end his life.
When the McClaines’ grief had finally subsided, they were left with a determination to use their personal tragedy to help others living with mental illness, parents and other family members desperately in need of support, advice, and respite. It had been their experience that people who attended support groups while dealing with a family member’s mental illness, says Claudia, “usually didn’t come anymore after a suicide.”
From their own experience, they knew that support from others who’d gone through similar circumstances was as important following a loss as before. The McClaines had become familiar with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), a national “grassroots” organization that for 35 years has offered education, training and support to caregivers, as well as advocating for those suffering from such illnesses.
“It’s hell,” says Claudia. “People just don’t realize.” There are more and more elderly parents – even in their 80’s – with adult sons and daughters suffering from mental illness, often living at home. But that is not always a possibility and, she says, “A big percentage of homeless adults are suffering with as mental illness.” Claudia fervently wants people to understand the grave dangers of depression, a mental illness that is still often taken too lightly, shrugged off, undiagnosed or untreated. It was depression, she believes, that took her son’s life and so many others, including, recently, comic Robin Williams. Through such support organizations as NAMI, she hopes families will become better able to recognize the signs of mental illness and be better equipped to take positive action.
According to its mission statement, “NAMI offers the understanding that only those with the ‘lived experience’ of mental illness can provide. Together with our grassroots volunteers, we work every day to provide help and hope to millions of Americans.”
The McClaines have participated in the Indian River County NAMI affiliate in Vero Beach and are currently working to get the word out about a FREE 12-week course, Family to Family, which will take place this year in Sebastian, at St. Sebastian Catholic Church, 13075 US 1, starting Monday, Sept. 8, at 6:30 p.m. and continuing weekly at the same time, thereafter.
The course is designed for people over 18 who have family members living with mental illness. It is, Dick stressed, taught by volunteers who have themselves gone through these experiences, specially trained family members of individuals with mental illness, and provides critical information and strategies relating to caregiving under often difficult circumstances.
Pre-registration is required: Contact Valerie Smith, (772) 532- 5554 or Beverley Whiteley (772) 257-5950.
