Have you heard the story about the woman celebrating her 102nd birthday? One of the guests at her party asked her what was best about being 102. She thought about it for a moment and responded, “No peer pressure.”
What an acknowledgement that is of the tremendous power peers wield! Of course, all parents of teenagers have cautioned their offspring about this. But the truth is that peer pressure lasts well beyond the teenage years. So it behooves us all to choose our companions carefully.
What are the communities to which you belong that influence you? From whom do you seek or accept guidance? In decision making, do you find yourself considering what relatives would think, how co-workers might react, what friends would say? Or are you lacking groups whose acceptance and approval you seek?
Sociologists tell us that prior generations were heavily dependent upon their human social network for discussing significant matters and gaining and sharing wisdom. But today, particularly with the advent of electronic communication, all that has changed. Paradoxically, there is more human interactivity than ever before, but the relationships we are acquiring and maintaining tend to be fairly superficial. So we might give our modern relationship-building enterprises a high score in a quantitative sense, but a rather low score in a qualitative sense.
Subtlety, depth, compassion, and tolerance, for example, are characteristics we are less likely to develop in relationships than we once were, because our superficial relationships don’t ask such difficult things of us. In fact, many of our modern relationships don’t last long enough to even allow the development of those qualities, which tend only to grow over time within relationships marked by deep and consistent interaction, trust, commitment, and shared goals.
Some writers speculate that the ease with which we modern people can form and discard relationships is exacting a cost. Without the presence of long-lasting communities of significance in our lives, we are prone to interact at a shallow level with like-minded people who never really ask much of us by challenging our attitudes or convictions. But without such challenge we have little impetus to re-think and refine our lives’ purpose or direction, in other words, to grow.
What’s the solution to this modern trend of superficiality? Well, maybe peer pressure could be put to good use to effect a change. Why not reverse the trend of insignificance we are facing by joining a community of faith, or volunteering with others at a service organization, or joining a group committed to a cause you favor? Let others you find in these places and whose life choices you admire become your peers, and let them influence and support your growth.
After all, as our parents taught us, running with the wrong crowd could take you places you never wanted to go. But conversely, hanging with the right crowd just may provide the orientation you need for a far more productive, fulfilling, and meaningful life. Peer pressure isn’t all bad!
