Jessica (Jessie Jane) Cugno is a teensy PUREBRED Teacup Yorkie who was rescued from one of those Horrible Puppy Mills an is now, in her words, “One Lucky Gal.” She’s also Super Cute, an Totally Fearless Except for Garbudge Trucks. In her Woofmail inquiring about an innerview, she mentioned that I look exactly like her brother Harry, also an English Springer Spaniel, who had crossed the Rainbow Bridge a couple years ago. (Obviously, a hansome poocheroo.)
Jessica anna lady answered the door, an I innerduced myself. Before approaching for the Wag-an-Sniff, Jessica stood sizing me up, her head tilted and her ears at attention, in that Crispy Biscuits way Yorkies have, looking Very Serious Yet Perky, in a pretty pink collar an bow.
After reassurances from the lady, an a very formal Wag-an-Sniff, she said: “Good morning, Mr. Bonzo. You may call me Jessie. This is my Mom Sue an my Dad Richard. You must excuse my initial reticence. Most of my experiences with Fellow Dogs have been of the kind I prefer to forget.”
“I totally understand, Miss Jessie,” I replied.
A nano second after we sat down, Jessie, whose been told she’s about 5, apparently flipped her Puppy Switch: She began happily showering my assistant with puppy kisses, ceasing only briefly to continue her story. My assistant, meanwhile, was laughin’ and givin’ Jessie liddle pats. (Just between us, I think she flipped her Puppy Switch, too.)
“I’m ready when you are, Miss Jessie,” I told her.
“Very well. So, after I’d had two litters (which I don’t wish to talk about because it makes me sad) I was rescued, Thank Lassie, an was being fostered by a nice vet tech human in Naples, Florida, where My Mom an Dad were living at the time. However, when Dad was at the vet’s picking up Harry’s speshull food (Harry was gettin’ Up There an had some ISH-yous), he saw me an thought I was, you know, a cute, perky liddle pooch (I certainly didn’t feel that way).
Mom was in Calla-FORN-yuh workin’ an Dad told her about me. When she returned, they decided maybe gettin’ a fren for Harry’d perk him up a liddle. So they hemmed an hawed.
(That’s what Mom said. I don’t know what it means.) Anyway, when they finally decided to get me, I was already ’dopted!”
“Wait! Wha-at?” I gasped.
“The humans who ’dopted me didn’t ree-lize I wasn’t potty trained, an I didn’t know how to go up or down stairs, an I got scared trying to cross thresholds. An didn’t even know how to play, cuz I’d lived inna box my whole life till then. I was much too high maintenance, so they returned me.
“The vet tech told Mom an Dad right away, an they quickly ’dopted me. They’d brought a liddle pink carrier to take me to my new home in but, soon as I saw it, I Totally Freaked, an leaped into Dad’s arms. So – no more boxes for me! Now I have my own Forever Famly, an The Best. Life. EVER!”
I sniffed an wiped my nose with my paw. I love Happy Endings. An Happy Beginnings even more.
Jessie continued, “Mom an Dad were so patient, an I learned fast. I aced Potty Training in a week! Crossin’ thresholds took a liddle longer. I thought I was gonna fall in an vanish. Now I cross ’em, but I always crouch, then LEAP over ’em just in case.”
“Whaddya do for fun?”
“At first I didn’t know what playin’ was, livin’ inna box an all. But NOW I have playin’ DOWN.
Speshully the BEACH. When I’m outside, I can hear the ocean callin’ me to come play. My favorite beach activity is SNIFFING! There’s a lot to sniff: shells, seaweeds, those super cool liddle teeny crabs. Birds are kinda meh, tho. Harry taught me to love the beach. He swam, but I just run around in the soap-sudsy part on the edges. (I always wear my leash, so I don’t get washed away.)
“Every morning I give Mom an Dad lotsa kisses to wake ’um up. Then I go outside to do my duty, always with Mom so hawks, owls, an Cats named Bob can’t grab me for breakfast. When Mom’s in her home office, I help. I sit on her lap an assist with Conference Calls. After dinner is Mom’s an My Special Time: We walk down a path, right onto the beach. Yep, it’s definitely my Happy Place.”
“Any special pals?”
“Yes! My human brothers Derek an Roc, an my sister Bridget. An my cousin Custard, Derek’s lemon Bee-gull. They’re all comin’ for Thanksgiving an we’re gonna have So Much Fun! I LOVE havin’ a famly!
“Then there’s my neighbor Roxie, she’s a Rottie puppy; an Delilah, a Lab. We say hi when she runs through the yard.”
“How about foodstuffs?”
“Mom says I’m a Swiffer Sweeper, ’specially around Dad, cuz he drops lotsa crumms. Also cuz, for a Super Speshull treat, Dad gives me a smidge of almond butter. You should try it, Mr. Bonzo. It’s Way Yum! I hafta eat soft squishy foodstuffs cuz I only have two teeth, cuz nobody took care of me before.
“Now, every night, Mom brushes both of my teeth. See.” She grinned an there they were, one on each side. Gleaming white.
“They’re beautiful!” I told her.
“I KNOW! I have my own pink toothbrush and special dog toothpaste from the vet that tastes like chiggen!”
“Shut the doghouse door!” I exclaimed.
Moving on, I inquired whether she enjoyed travel.
“Kinda. I snuggle on car rides. I’ve been to Vermont, Maine, Georgia and Jacksonville on those metal bird thingys. They’re OK. However, gigantic gar-budge trucks scare the kibbles outta me.
They’re SO LOUD! I hide in the closet. I’m not scared of ANYTHING except gar-budge trucks.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about Miss Jessie, a brave liddle teacup who loves bestowing puppy kisses, and brushes her two beautiful teeth with chiggen-flavored toothpaste. I was still smiling when I arrived home.