This week I innerviewed a fascinatin’ young lady, Brandy Tubaugh, an Australian Shepherd/Poodle mixture. She won’t be 2 till January, so she still has a whole buncha “pupper” goin’ on. But she’s real smart, and oh-beedee-unt, always looking up at her Mom and turnin’ her head to the side, ears forward, makin’ sure she’s doin’ the right stuff. Impressive.
Plus, she’s built like a brick doghouse: long legs, beautiful gray-an-black poodle-y hair, trimmed sorta short ’cept for her paws, which were fluffy, like liddle boots. Exceedingly Cook Kibbles.
(“Get a grip, Bonz! You’re On The Job!” I sternly reminded myself several times during the innerview.)
Brandy an her human were outside to greet me an my assistant. Brandy was woofin’, frenly, eager woofin’, like how us pooches say ‘Hi!’ in our dog voices, an she trotted up for the Wag-an-Sniff.
Inside, Brandy said eagerly, “Oh, Mr. Bonzo! It’s so ick-CITING that I’m gonna be in the PAYper! I wore my speshull collar with a rose on it. See?” (It was a black collar with white hearts, an a big white rose attached at the side.) “This is my Very Own Mommy, Tina. She got me when I was a 9-week-old fluffball. Now I’m almost a grown-up grrrl.”
“It’s a great pleasure, Miss Brandy!” I replied with sincerity, fiddlin’ with my notebook. “How did you an your Mom find each other?”
I turned my notebook right-side-up. Brandy began her tale.
“My Mommy had this Totally Crispy Biscuits job travelin’ all over the WORLD on big YOTS. She even got her captain papers, whatever that means. Anyway, a few years ago, Mommy was in Ohio with a fren who was visiting a famly member in a nursing home. Mommy took the fren’s liddle dog to say hello to some of the other residents. WELL, when she saw the JOY that liddle pooch brought to the humans, she started dreamin’ of havin’ a Smart, Loving Pup BFF (like me) and, together, they’d visit special humans who need Extra Love an Support.
“Mommy PON-dered an PON-dered and decided to go to school to be a nurse. When that duh-ZEES thing happened an all the humans hadda stay home, Mommy kept studyin’ On The Line, an decided it was time to get A DOG. She did a lotta REE-search an discovered me in a PetFinder ad. My breeder was majorly downsizing, so Mommy got me for a Spesh-ull Reduced Price.
“Mommy started my ed-juh-kay-shun right away. She says I’m a Smart Cookie (not an ackshull cookie). I just love learnin’ stuff an pleasin’ Mommy. For IN-stance: I nailed that potty training thing in just two weeks! AND I NEVER did what humans call Number 2 in the house, which I hear is a Very Good Thing!”
“Woof! Miss Brandy, it totally IS!” I told her.
“I hafta admit,” she continued, “I did chew plastic (A LOT) cuzza bein’ a liddle nervous. But now I don’t. PLUS, I NEVER chewed a SHOE, or anything like that.
“I’m also trainin’ with my fren Mr. Marcel, learning a buncha ways to help humans. He even taught me to NOT go NUTS when those liddle squirrels want to play chase. (An I LOVE chase.) But I just sit there. It feels like a game, but it’s important Cool Kibbles stuff. Like, I know how to pull a laundry basket from the bedroom to the laundry room to help Mrs. Marcel, who drives a cool liddle chair around the house instead of walkin.’ Mr. Marcel told Mommy I learned Super Fast! Mommy hugged me an she got wet eyes.
“I’m also good at Not Barkin’. ’Cept when we have cump-nee. I LOVE cump-nee! I guess you noticed. Whenever I hear Mommy say ‘Hi!’ I start lookin’ around an waggin’ an barkin’. On leash walks, she’s always sayin’ ‘Hi!’, an stoppin’ to talk to other humans. I wanna say ‘Hi’ to ’em, too, in my dog voice, but she keeps shushin’ me. So I shush, but it’s kinda a bummer.”
“Awww, that’s really sweet,” I said. “Got any pooch frens?”
“Mosta my pals are fluffy liddle white pooches. And there’s a new doggie in the neighborhood. I heard the humans say he’s a shepherd from Germany. That musta been a really a long car ride, doncha think? I hope he got to hang his head out the window. I can’t wait to play with him!
“Then there’s Boomer,” Brandy said with a soft liddle laugh. “He’s the handsomest Papillon! He was my first puppy love.”
She sighed, looked straight at me with her big, dark eyes, then moved on. I picked up my notebook.
“Me, Casey an Logan ride to Doggie Day Care together, an watch sunsets together, an play on the BEACH! When it’s real hot, I flop down in the breakers, an sometimes swim around. Also, me an Mommy go out in our Boston Whaler boat. I sit up front cuz I’m First Mate: I love that feeling of salty air in my nose, an my ears flappin’ back in the breeze. It’s PAWSOME runnin’ all over those liddle river islands.
“My human frens are: Mr. Dennis, he gives the Best Tummy Rubs EVER!; an, when Mommy hasta go somewhere without me, I stay with Mr. Dave an Virginia. An, guess what? I got my very first taste of fill-LAY from Mr. Dave. It was the most duh-LISH-shus thing I EVER ate! Mr. Dave also lets me share his nice soft pillow.
“Of course, my Very Best Fren Forever is Mommy. We talk all the time. Ackshully, mostly, she talks an I listen. I’m a great listener. She named me Brandy after a song, the part where it says ‘your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea,’ cuz now Mommy stays here with me instead of sailing those big YOTS.”
Woof, had the time gone fast. Headin’ home I was thinkin’ about sweet, funny Miss Brandy, and her big dark eyes, an fluffy paws. An about a nice big hunk of fill-LAY.
Till next time,
