This week I innerviewed Sassy Martin, a beautiful Golden Retriever with a lotta responsibility (an really big paws). Although she’s just 3 in Human, she’s already graduated Service Dog Training. Not every pooch who starts that training makes it all the way through, cuz it’s WAY harder than your basic Sit-Stay-Shake stuff, so I knew she’d have Special Skills, an I thought maybe she’d be a Very Serious Pooch, maybe a liddle intimidating.
But she wasn’t, an trotted right over for the Wag-an-Sniff.
“Good afternoon, Miss Martin. Thank you for agreeing to share your story.”
“My pleasure,” she said. “Please call me Sassy. This is my Dad, Partner, an BFF, Perry. Since he says it’s OK for me to be Off the Clock while you’re here, I can ruh-LAX, an we can have a nice Yap.”
“Excellent!” I opened my notebook. “So, how did you two find each other?”
“Well, Dad was in The Military an then a K-9 pleece officer for a long time, 224 Dog Years: He was an eggs-pert at dog training, an his K-9 partner was Jazz. Then they got hit when they were in their pleece car and got hurt Real, Real Bad. So Dad an Jazz hadda retire. Dad had a whole bunch of surgeries an was havin’ a very tough time, an then Jazz went to Dog Heaven.”
“Oh, Woof! That’s awful!” I exclaimed.
“I KNOW. Well, even though Dad was a liddle wobbly, havin’ a lotta trouble gettin’ around, an hearin’, an rememberin’ stuff, he was still a Great Dog Trainer, so, he started bein’ a volunteer with Dogs For Life, that school where dogs get trained to help vederans an others who have Various Health Issues.”
“I’m very fuh-mill-yer with it,” I said. “I have several pooch pals who’ve trained there.”
“Cool Kibbles!” Sassy said. “Well, Dad got another pooch, Hope, who was a wunnerful, helpful fren. One day Miss Kathi (the biggest Dogs for Life supporter EVER), bought Dogs for Life two Golden Retriever pupsters to start special training. One of ’em was, well, ME. We got named Big Sis an Liddle Sis. (I was Liddle Sis.) Dad was workin’ with us trainees so we knew each other: He was a good teacher an I was a really good student. Since us trainees usually need Foster Famlys while we’re in school, Miss Shelly (she started Dogs for Life 133 Dog Years ago) an Miss Kathi asked if Dad would be my Foster Human: It was Okey-Dokey with him an Hope, an Extra Okey-Dokey with me. I was 1 by then.
“Then, in March, Hope got sick an went to Dog Heaven, an we were feeling Dismal Dog Biscuits. But, un-bee-knownst to Dad, Miss Kathi an Miss Shelly had been noticin’ when Hope was startin’ to really slow down, an they had Sneakily Plotted to get Dad to Foster me so we’d already be together when Hope hadda go to Dog Heaven, an I’d be all trained an ready to Step in As Dad’s Forever Service Dog.”
I swallowed a couple of times. “That is a Moving an Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits story, Miss Sassy. Tell me about your life now.”
“My No. 1 Mission in Life is to Take Care of Dad. I’m always by his side. I’m right there when he’s wobbly, or like, if he doesn’t hear the doorbell, I check to see who’s there, then I stand by the door or go put my paw on his knee. If his cell is ringing an he can’t find it, I sniff it out and plop it in his lap. When we go grocery shopping, I walk right along beside him. If he’s duh-pressed, or in pain, I’m Right There lettin’ him know it’s gonna be OK. Honestly, Mr. Bonzo, I always know what he’s thinkin’.”
“I have great admiration for that, Miss Sassy,” I said with the utmost sincerity. “Frankly, I thought you might be, you know, a liddle more stern and tough.”
“Some service dogs are. But ones like me are considered softer. I’m not tough, I’m quiet an reserved. I like to know what I’m gettin’ into, rather than leaping in with all fours.”
“That works for me. So, whaddya do for fun?”
“I LOVE RUNNIN’! At the Dog Park, me an my posse run our ears off! I see Big Sis sometimes. Then there’s GiGi, a Golden like me; Bo, a Chocolate Lab, an Bob, Bo’s human. An I have a big basket of toys. I’m also a teensy bit obsessed with Rabbits. I wouldn’t never ackshully catch one. It’s just the chasin’. They sit outside waitin’ for me to come play. Dad hangs my leash right by the door cuz, if it wasn’t on me, and I spotted a rabbit, POOF, this well-trained, uber-obedient 2-year-old Golden Retriever would be – GONE. I don’t know what gets into me, Bonzo, Truly I don’t. It’s an issue I’m tryin’ to overcome.”
“Probably a good idea,” I opined.
“I get regular mani-pedis an haircuts at my salon, South Paw. I keep my hair short cuz Dad can’t vacuum, an I can’t either. Me an Dad love takin’ road trips in my truck, a Cool Kibbles Chevy Colorado. Dad took the backseat out an had it refitted, ’specially for me. It’s All That Anna Bag of Pupperoni! We’ve been to Minnesoda, Kentucky, Indiana an Ohio. Ohio’s where I get to hang out with a buncha my Besties – CHIGGENS! I love those goofy feather-dusters.”
“Chiggens? Are you Woofin’ me?” I asked, astonished.
“Not at all. At first, I tried to get ’em to run with me, but they’re not really into runnin.’ So we just take liddle walks, talk about stuff, ponder Deep Questions like ‘Which came first …’”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ how amazin’ it is that The Right Dog an The Right Human so often just seem to find each other, out of all the dogs and humans in the world.
Till next time,
The Bonz
