You know that saying humans have: “Choose a job you love an you’ll never haff to work a day in your life”? Well, that’s exactly how I feel about my job, eetin’ Cool Kibbles poocheroos; writin’ about your adventures; learnin’ lotsa new stuff.
For example, this week I had a fun-filled innerview with a couple of barky, bouncy, enthusiastic pooches: Tiger Lily an What About Bob Stewart. She’s a 12-year-old Jack Russell an he’s about 3, probly a mixture of Long-haired Dashchund an Border Collie.
From all the barkin’ it sounded like there were way more than two pooches in residence. “HELLO!” I hollered, when the door opened. “I’M BONZO AN THIS IS MY ASSISTANT! IT’S GREAT TO MEET YOU!” Soon as they had finished their bark-fest an happy dance, they came up for the Wag-an-Sniff.
Tiger Lily did the intros. “Call me Tilly,” she said. “He’s What About Bob. You can call him plain ol’ Bob. This is our Mom, Heidi. Our Dad’s Chuck. He’s a vet-truh-NARY-un. He’s workin’. We’ve never been innerviewed before. An we get our pick-shur in the paper, too, right?”
“Right!” I said. “You tell me all about your life, and I’ll write it down right here in my notebook.”
“Crispy Biscuits! Well, here goes. Way back in oh-eight, Mom an Dad had just lost one of their Jack Russells, Tess, an they were gloomy. Meanwhile, Mom’s sister Edie was at a pizza parlor in Montana, which is far away inna place called The West. The pizza parlor humans had a bran new litter of Jack Russell puppers, so Edie picked the cutest one – that would be ME – to fill The Void. It was almost winter an the weather can get real wet an cold an snowy an icy in Montana, so they waited for a Window of Opportunity to open. When it did, they put me on one of those big, loud metal birds, and I flew all the way to Orlando.”
“Woof, Tilly, weren’t you scared, bein’ a puppy an all?” I asked.
“Not a bit,” she said. “I just ruh-LAXED an dozed an then, when Mom an Dad picked me up at the airport, I calmly exited my crate, yawned, stretched and started a new life with my Forever Famly. They named me Tiger Lily for that human who is real good at walkin’ around hittin’ liddle balls with sticks. (They almost named me Hannah Montana for obvious reasons. I’m glad they didn’t.) Anyway, soon as we got home, I was introduced to my new brother an sister, Zin an Shorty, both Jack Russells like me!”
“Cool Kibbles! So, how’d that go?”
“Well, there was an uh-JUST-mutt period, cuzza me doin’ a lotta Goofy Puppy Stuff. But Dog, did we have fun. Me an Zin’d hang out an discuss Deep Dog Subjects. Shorty was a Super Crispy Dog Biscuits swimmer an diver. I mean, she could dive all the way down 10 or 12 whole feet in the pool to get a toy. She taught me how to swim. Divin’, not so much. I loved swimmin’ so much Mom an Dad hadda drag me out sometimes. I usta throw my toys in the pool just so I could jump in an get ’em.
“When Shorty went to Dog Heaven, I stepped into her paws as the Alpha, which was cool with Zin, after I got it figured out. Then, about three years ago, Zin hadda go, too, an I felt very Dismal Dog Biscuits. Well, Mom, an Dad had just decided I’d be an Only Pooch, but as we all know, stuff doesn’t always happen like we think it will.”
“You said it,” I commented.
“I hadn’t been an Only Dog for very long when our neighbor came upon this liddle pupster right by the side of the road, inna DITCH. He managed to get him into his car and, since everybody knows Dad’s a vet-truh-NARY-un, he brought the liddle mutt muffin over to the clinic so we could try to find his famly.”
“I’m gonna tell this part,” Bob piped up. “It was ME! I don’t remember much cuz I was so young, only not knowin’ where I was or where my famly was. I was scared of gettin’ in that car, but I was more scared of bein’ out there all alone. Well, Mom an Dad were SO kind and, soon as I figured out who was Boss – which wasn’t me – Tilly an me got along, too. Mom an Dad checked everywhere for two weeks, but nobody came to claim me. So Mom an Dad an Tilly adopted me. I always try to let ’em know how much I uh-PRE-shee-ate ’em. I don’t even wanna think about what wudda happened to me in that ditch. Mom an Dad an Tilly all agree that it was Zin, up in Dog Heaven, who sent me to them.”
“I love that thought,” I said, sniffling a liddle. Then, “How’d you come by that unusual name?”
“Dad said it should be simple, one syllable, an not your common dog name. Mom’s brother-in-law, who’s in Heaven now, was called Bob. So somebody said, ‘What about Bob?’ An that was that. Dad sometimes calls me Shiny Bob cuzza my shiny, luck-JURY-us coat.”
“Great tail,” I told him. “An you do have a very nice, shiny coat. So, whaddya do for fun?”
“We love travelin’ in our Air Stream,” said Tilly. “We go All Over The Place: North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, Tallahassee. We hike for miles an, of course, go swimmin’. I always perform my famous Flyin’ Leap an Splash, but Bob’s still learning about the water.”
Heading home, I was feelin’ energized just from bein’ around joyful, high-energy Bob an Tilly. Yep, I love my job!
Till next time,
The Bonz
