This week’s Yap was with snowbirddog Buddy Halchak, a rescue Bee-gull from New Jersey. (I’m startin’ to get use to my assistant wearin’ one of my bandannas over mouth an snoot when I’m doin’ my innerview. I think it looks hilarious but I know it’s important.)
Thank Lassie, us pooches don’t haff to do stuff like that, so Buddy trotted up for the Wag-an-Sniff. “Hey there, Mr. Bonzo. I’m Buddy! These are my Humans, Nick an Carol.”
“A pleasure,” I said. “I’m eager to hear your story!”
We got settled in, an Buddy began.
“Carol had had other Bee-gulls, an, about 8 years ago, she was browsing for Bee-gulls at this Hanover, New Jersey, shelter, where I was livin’ at the time. She’d visit every day on her lunch hour, lookin’ for The Perfect Pooch. The sign on my cage said I was about 6, but Carol figured I was a lot younger, cuz I was actin’ all playful like a puppy. An she was right. I liked her right away, so I kept givin’ her my Irresistubble Puppy Eyes look.”
“Ah, yes, that’s a good one,” I remarked.
“Carol was ackshully wantin’ an older pooch, PLUS, Nick wasn’t totally sold on havin’ a pooch at all, since he’d never had a dog EVER, if you can bee-leeve it.”
“Are you Woofin’?” I exclaimed.
“I KNOW! Anyway, my Irresistubble Puppy Eyes worked, I guess, so Carol told Nick she wanted to get me. He wasn’t what you’d call thrilled, but he finally said yes, if it was OK with their grankids. Which it WAS. But they almost didn’t get me.”
“Why? What Happened?”
“Well, another couple wanted me. Them an Nick an Carol hadda answer lotsa Important Questions to show they’d be Good Pet Parents. Nick an Carol had First Dibs, but the shelter humans said if they didn’t get there by 5 uh-clock closing time, the other couple could have me. I was rootin’ for Nick an Carol, but it wasn’t UP to me. So there we all were, waitin’. When it got to be 4, I was gettin’ worried. But Nick an Carol made it!
“I was already well-buh-haved, so on the way to my Forever Home, we stopped at PetSmart for supplies. Nick was holdin’ my leash, an everybuddy in the store was tellin’ him how adorable I was. When they asked my name, Nick said, out of the BLOO, ‘Buddy’. So, Nick, who hadn’t been all that excited about getting’ a pooch, got all puffed up an was showin’ me off. Of course, I loved it and, not to brag, I was lookin’ GOOD.”
“Well, you ARE one squared-away poocheroo,” I commented.
“Thanks! Ackshully, my vet raises Bee-gulls, an he says I’m a Purebred.”
“Doesn’t su-prize me. You’ve got The Look. So what’s life like for you now?”
“Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits! I have a wunnerful human family. There’s MomMom. When she visits I sit in her lap. An my cousins William, James, Teaghan an Kea. An I’ve got a ton of pooch frens: Beauregard, a Jack Russell (we did Canine Good Citizen Class together); Toby; Eli, a Poodle; Lucy, a Doodle; Doogle, a Shih Tzu I think; Max, a Mixture; Henry, a Scottie. We love playin’ in the Dog Park. I go on the Liddle AN the Big Dog side, dependin’ on who’s there.
“One time, I slipped through The Gate down to the river an had The Best Time playin’ in this pawsome stuff called MUCK. It was GREAT. Stinky, but GREAT, I thought. Carol an Nick, not so much. I don’t do that anymore. Up in Jersey, I wear a swedder cuz it gets cold. Down here, I only need a slicker for the rain. The slicker’s bedder, cuz the swedder makes me look chubby.
“Sometimes, it’s hard to figure out humans, you know?” he mused.
“Totally,” I agreed.
“Like, when Carol an Nick are packin’ to go somewhere, I take one of their shoes and hide it. I don’t eat it or anything. One time Carol an her fren were hangin’ out and had taken their shoes off, so I very carefully took one of Carol’s fren’s shoes over by the fireplace. I didn’t even slobber on it or anything. But when Carol saw it, she Freaked Out. Thank Lassie, everything ended up OK. I learned later the shoe had this funny name that made it Super Special to Human Ladies. Tory Burch. I don’t get it.”
“Me either. That is a funny name.”
“Seriously, Bonzo, I buh-leeve my Purpose in Life is helpin’ people: Up in Jersey I took classes and became a Therapy Dog, an I got to help lotsa people feel Much Better. Once, during Exam Week, I went to Montclair Univer-suddy to help the stoo-dents de-stress. That was amazin’.
“Upin Jersey, I was inna school library gettin’ read to by liddle kids. One liddle grrrl was way in the corner with her gramma, cuz she was PET-ruffied of pooches. Me an Nick went over very gently an I put my head in her lap. She ackshully started pattin’ me, an stopped bein’ scared an finally joined the group. I even help Nick. Carol says I ackshully SAVED him.”
“Woof, Buddy. How’d you do that?”
“Well, cuz us Bee-gulls need Lots of Exercise, Nick started walking me at least two times every day. Before me, he didn’t do much exercise. At all. Next time he saw his doctor, he found out he had something called AFIB, and the doctor said if he hadn’t started exercising when he did (thanks to ME), it probly wudda been CURTAINS for him. The more we walk, the better it is for both of us, cuz, since I hurt my back, I can’t visit the Dog Park as much. I wanna keep helpin’ humans, now that we live here For Good.”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about how often humans find Just the Right Dog at Just the Right Time. Amazin’, don’t you agree?
Till next time,
The Bonz
