This week, I yapped with George Beaver, who grew up in China, about as far away as you can get from us without starting to come back around.
George is a Teddy Bear dog, a mixture of a poodle anna Shih Tzu. And he totally got the best parts of both of ’em: on the 1-10 Pooch Cuteness Scale, he’s an 11. He’s been here for a couple of human years already. He’s bi-lingwell, but he didn’t unnerstand ANY English until he got his Forever Famly.
George’s Dad was holdin’ him when they answered the door.
“Good morning! I’m Bonzo. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Ni hao (knee-how)” said George. “Please to come in. This is my Daddy Nicholas. My Mommy Sunny is restin’. This (he pointed to a bouncy liddle human) is my sister Taylor. She’s 4. I love her but she makes me, how do you say it, NUTS. I call her my Nemesister. This is my Gramma Cheri an my Grampa Mike and THIS (he pointed to a smiley baby human tucked under his Grampa’s arm) is my liddle brother Alexander, he’s 3 months. I watch over him an make sure he has enough snuggles and kisses. It’s my Most Important Job. Please to follow me. We’ll sit by the pool.”
“I’m excited to hear your story.” I opened my notebook.
“Mommy an Daddy were living in Shen-Jen, one of the biggest cities in the whole world. Daddy’s from here, an he moved to China to teach English. They had just lost Jesse, also a Teddy Bear, an they were Very Much Gloomy. Then they saw a pickshur of me inna cage, on WeChat …”
“We what?”
“WeChat is much like your Facebook. Under the pickshur it said, ‘Does anybody want this dog?’ Mommy an Daddy knew if nobody did, I’d likely go to The Pound, which was, as you say, a one-way ticket. So they got me.”
“What was it like at first?”
“I was very excited an somewhat skittish, but EXTREMELY happy to be out of that cage; Mommy an Daddy were EVERSO KIND; an there were many places I could hide from Taylor, so I decided I was a lucky dog. They all spoke Chinese, which I unnerstood. But I didn’t know ANY of your lang-wudge. My Chinese name is MaoMao, which they sometimes still call me. I learned Qwa-lie is Come Here; Ting, Stay; Dzuo, Sit. An much more.
“Daddy says I was a Very Sweet Dog, but I didn’t know proper behavior such as Pupster Potty Rules, so there were numerous clean-ups. For a while Mommy an Daddy were taking me outside six times a day. But I learned rapidly. Mostly. I didn’t learn When to Chew an When Not To rapidly enough: There were eight colorful pillows in our apartment. I chewed up every single corner of every single pillow. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
“It wasn’t. When Mommy discovered them, I could tell by her face an voice that it might not have been a wise decision. I put my tail between my legs an jumped up on the bed, trying to look Totally Innocent.”
“How did that work for you?” I asked, attempting not to smile.
“Not so well.”
“Then Daddy an Taylor came here to Get Things Ready for us to move, while me an Mommy waited in China. Until then, I had been a Daddy’s Boy. However, while Mommy an I were alone, I became Very Sick. Two times. If Mommy hadn’t taken such good care of me like the doctor ordered, I would have been, how do you say it, Toast. Mommy saved my entire life. So I turned into a Total Mommy’s Boy.”
“I bet it took a long time to get to here from China,” I commented.
“You are having no idea. I had to have more Official Papers than humans do. An they allow One Pooch Only on each flight. Mommy an Daddy purchased a special kennel. When they put me in it to practice, I freaked out. I wasn’t allowed to eat before we got on the plane, an only drink a liddle water. By the time I got stuffed into my kennel, an then flew (in the baggage place, down in the tummy of the plane), it was 16 hours. Daddy was amazed I didn’t haff to Do My Doody even once. I simply concentrated, went to my Happy Place an snoozed the entire time.”
“Cool Kibbles!”
“From the minute I got here, to my Forever Home, I LOVED it. I had more room than I even knew there WAS in the entire WORLD.”
“Do you have favrite toys? Pooch pals?”
“I’m not so much intrested in toys. I do have a special Pillow. Roxie, next door, is my Lady Fren. She resembles a German Shepherd, an she’s 10 times more large than I, but we get along quite well. Even though I look like a ball of fluff, I am quite athletic, always ready to PLAY an JUMP. I DO NOT, however, enjoy the pool. Daddy taught me to swim in case I fall in. An I am exceedingly fast, swimming for the side so I can GET OUT. My legs are a blur. At bathtime, I hide. But they always find me. I very much wish to please Daddy an Mommy but, occasionally, our desires di-VERGE. For example, I have a tux-CEE-doh with a liddle bowtie for special occasions, an a Santa hat, an those sticky-uppy reindeer things, which I DO NOT enjoy wearing but, cuz I have great affection for Mommy an Daddy, I do. For about eight seconds.”
“Where do you sleep?”
“Right next to Mommy. I am having the best famly! Wo hen kai sheen!”
Heading home, I was feeling fortunate to get to meet so many of you pawsome pooches, with all your Cool Kibbles stories. I looked up what George said about his life, and realized I feel the same way about mine: “Wo hen kai sheen!”
“I am so happy!”
Till next time,
The Bonz
