Playful retriever makes a believer out of Bonz

Molly [Photo: Kaila Jones]

This week’s Yap was with another pretty an vi-va-shus Golden Retriever, 3-year-old Molly Woodall. She anna lady greeted us, and Molly, wearing a colorful bandana over a red collar, trotted right over for the Wag-and-Sniff, an several frenly nose-bumps for my assistant.

“Hi, Mr. Bonzo! I’m Molly Woodall. This is my Mom, Donna, an my Poppy, Ray. An this is my fren Maya who’s stayin’ with us for a liddle while.”

She pointed to another Golden Retriever, who also came up for the Wag-an-Sniff, a liddle slower than Molly, an said in a soft, pleasant voice, “It’s a pleasure. I’m going to go rest on my mat now.” An she did.

“I’m lots younger,” said Molly. “But we’re Besties. Come’on, let’s go sit out by the pool.”

“I bet you love swimming,” I remarked, her bein’ a retriever an all.

“Ackshully, I CAN swim, but I don’t like to. It messes up my hair. An I don’t like bein’ wet. Ugh! Mom tries to get me to by throwing a ball into the pool, cuz she knows I LOVE fetch. But I just stand by the edge an wait for the ball to float over to me.”

Clever girl, I thought. “So, Miss Molly, where are you from originally? An how did you get here?”

“I was born on the 4th of July in Delluh-ware. What happened was, Mom had just lost her Golden Retriever, Max, an she was Real, Real Upset. Plus, she didn’t like not havin’ a dog. At all. Anyway, her nephew told her this lady in Delluh-ware, Brenda, had one pooch left in her newest litter – me. But another lady called Dibs on me before Mom could, so Mom was all bummed out. BUT, on the day the other lady was s’pose to come get me, she didn’t show up. After the same thing happened three times, Brenda finally said Mom could have me.”

“Woof, that was a close one,” I exclaimed.

“It sure WAS,” agreed Miss Molly. “Mom an Poppy had planned to take a liddle trip to a place called Honeymoon Island, but, when Mom heard I was available, she told Poppy she wanted to go get me. So, instead of taking their liddle trip, they took a bigger trip, all the way to Delluh-ware in this sorta house with wheels on it. It’s called a mow-der home. I was thrilled to have a Forever Famly, but not so thrilled about the drivin’ part. That’s when I found out I have a Deli-cutt Tummy. I lost my kibbles several times on the way down but, thank Lassie, I outgrew it. An thank Lassie Mom an Poppy unnerstood.

“Oh, an listen to THIS: Mom wanted to call me Lily. But Poppy wanted to call me Molly. So Mom said to Poppy, ‘If YOU pay for her, we’ll call her Molly. If I pay, it’s gonna be Lily.’”

“Woof! Your Poppy must REALLY like the name Molly!”

We laughed.

Molly continued her story. “Up in Delluh-ware, Brenda took super good care of us puppies. I still think about her a lot. When Mom an Poppy picked me up, Brenda gave ’em a box of stuff for me, with familiar smells so I’d feel secure: a blanket, a shoe, a sneaker and some food. An a long list of How To Take Care of This Puppy instructions. Wasn’t that pawsome?”

“Totally,” I agreed. “So what’s your favrite thing to do?”

“Chewin’ usta be. When I was a pupster, I chewed A Lot. I loved chewin’. That’s why Brenda sent the shoe an the sneaker. Then, one time, down here, I thought it’d be fun to chew this intresting-lookin’ piece of wood. So I started to. Well, turns out, it was a leg on Mom’s table. She said it was an-TEEK. I found out that means Real Old, an I thought she wouldn’t mind so much cuz it wasn’t all bran new. But it didn’t work that way. Sometimes it’s hard to unnerstand how humans think, you know? Anyway, I don’t chew stuff anymore. Now, my favrite thing is Catch. Mom has one of those Chuck-It thingys. She chucks my ball wa-ay far an I ALWAYS catch it an ALWAYS bring it back.”

“Do you have pals other than Maya?” I inquired.

“Well, there’s Pepe, he’s a Chihuahua; an Diesel an Sammi, they live in St. PETE with my human cousin Sue. An my NAY-bers Coco, she’s a Doberman, an Dixie, a MIX-chur. I share my ball with them. I also like to watch the squirrels, geckos an tor-dusses. I don’t hurt ’em or anything. I do sometimes lick the tor-duss’ shells. (But us pooches hafta be real careful outside cuz a Big Bobcat was spotted prowlin’ around at night.) I have human frens, too: the ladies who play cards with Mom; an ’specially my vet. We roll around on the floor an play. Some pooches are ’fraid of goin’, but not me. I almost drag Mom through the door.”

“That’s a great attitude, Miss Molly! By the way,” I inquired, “Now that you don’t toss your kibbles any more, do you like car rides?”

“Oh, YES. Specially in our mow-der home. I’m thinkin’ maybe Mom an Poppy can take that trip to Honeymoon Island they were gonna do, when they made the wise decision to go the other direction and get me instead. Plus, I can go WITH ’em cuz it’s Dog Frenly. (I Googled an found out.)”

“That’s a Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits idea, Miss Molly,” I told her.

Heading home, I was thinking about Miss Molly figurin’ out a way to keep her stellar fetch record intact while not having to mess up her hair-do. Way smart. But I totally couldn’t understand why she didn’t love swimmin’. Me, I love swimmin’ almost as much as I love bread. Almost.

Till next time,

The Bonz

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