This week I had the Best Time yappin’ with a coupla pooches who’ve been BFFs since they were pupsters: Remus Jameson Holt an Koa Pfeifer.
We met at Koa’s house, an we could hear lotsa bouncin’ around as soon as we rang the bell. When the door opened, there were two ladies and two big, bouncy pooches, about the same size, wigglin’ an waggin’ like anything: a leggy, black Standard Poodle with a short curly body cut and long, luck-jury-us wavy ears an tail tip, anna gold-an-black German Shepherd with alert, pointy ears. Good lookin’ poocheroos, for sure. I felt short.
“Welcome, Bonz. (It’s OK to call you Bonz, right?)” said the Shepherd. “I’m Koa Pfiefer. This is my house. An this is my Mommy, Mitz, an my best fren in the world, Remus.”
“Hi, Bonz!” said the Poodle. “I’m Remus Jameson Holt. Call me Remus. This is my Mommy, Ruth Ann. Come’on in!” They led the way to the pawsome back yard: It hadda pool, a shady place with chairs an a jungly, woody area to explore.
“It’s great meeting you. This is gonna be a fun innerview, I can tell!” I opened my notebook, an they both came over to nose around in it and give frenly snuffle-bumps to my assistant.
There were duh-li-shus-lookin’ human an pooch snacks on the table, an Remus’ Mommy kept tellin’ ’em, “Get your face off the table!”
Koa began. “Even though I look like a total German Shepherd, I’m ackshully a mix of German an Australian Shepherd. I usta have more Aussie Shepherd spots but now they’re only under my chin.”
He showed me.
“So, almost three years ago, I was a ghetto puppy out in L.A. till I got saved by a wunnerful animal rescue called the Watts Project. My Mommy’s L.A. fren was my Foster Mommy. She knew My Mommy’d been lookin’ for the Right Pooch ever since her Lab went to Dog Heaven, so she sent a pickshur of me.
“I was, like, the cutest puppy in the world, and soon as Mommy saw my pickshur, that was IT! I flew onna PLANE from L.A. all the way to Vero. My Daddy Tim an my human brother Ticer picked me up, an now I have the Best Forever Famly! My Daddy’s in the Navy (which is a buncha humans who work mostly on boats and help protect The Whole Country). Ticer works on boats, also: underwater ones called Tritons. They went deeper than any other boat ever went with humans in it. Ticer gets to go to Cool Kibbles places all over the whole PLA-nut.
“PLUS, guess what? I can speak Hawaiian! Wanna know how? Cuz Mommy’s from Hawaii! Isn’t that So Cool Kibbles?”
“Woof, Koa, totally! Your whole story’s Cool Kibbles! So, how’d you pooches meet?”
Remus answered. “Unlike Koa, I am a purebred: a Standard Poodle. But I’m no Snobnose. Mommy an Auntie Mitz have been frens for years, so me an Koa grew up together. When we were puppies, we’d run all over each other’s houses like they were speedways. My house is specially fun cuz it’s a stilthouse.”
“Hey Remus,” Koa spoke up. “Remember when we were liddle, an you hadda have a boost up the stairs? You’d put your front paws on a step an your Mommy (Aunt Rootie Tootie) she’d boost your caboose up, and then you’d sorta scoootch up with your back legs. It was huh-LARRY-us.”
“Thanks for the memories, K-man. “I might mention how you are totally scared to go in the pool.”
“OH, yeah?” Koa woofed back. “An what about how you totally freak out when the Chihuahua Mafia from down the block barks at you. I mean, you’re, like, 12 times bigger than they are.”
“Enough with the reminiscing,” said Remus with a grin. “Koa still loves flyin’ around with his pooch crew at the dog park. I’m more laid back. I like hangin’ with my human brother Nicholas. He’s way fun. An he doesn’t shred my toys to pieces like Koa the Destroyer does. When Koa’s human sister Kalea catches him, she puts the toy way high up onna shelf.”
Alluva sudden, Remus stopped totally still and laser-stared at something in the air. He watched intently for a couple seconds, then – WHAMMO! – snapped his jaws shut.
“Remus is a terrific fly-catcher,” Koa commented. “I don’t know how he does it. Or why.”
Remus was calmly licking his chops. “What does fly taste like,” I inquired.
“Chicken,” he responded.
“Um … OK. Any special pals?”
“Oh, lots!” said Koa. “You shoulda been here last Chinese New Year. We hadda huge buncha of humans an pooches. It was Totally PAWsome! Everybody’s favrite Dog Park human is Uncle Bob: He always brings snacks for all of us. He’s Way Cool Kibbles. Our pooch pals are Tug, a Burmese Mountain Dog; Abby, a Potcake; Hokulani, another Burmese; Zeus, Uncle Bob’s Catahoula Leopard; Pico, a chihuahua, really gives me a run for my money when I sometimes try to grab her toys. Then there’s Winston, Willow, an Tink …”
“Willow has a crush on Koa,” Remus teased. “I know he likes her, too, but he plays it cool.”
“I’m a happy bachelor,” Koa responded. “But she IS a nice liddle lady. Then there’s Zena, a Boxer/Great Dane. Oh, an don’t forget Maui.” Koa turned to me an whispered, “She’s the leader of the Chihuahua Mafia.”
“Don’t get me started,” Remus replied.
I swiftly changed the subject. “How about travelin’?”
“I go to Maryland with Mommy a coupla times a year,” said Koa. “When she goes back to Hawaii, I can’t go, but that’s okey-dokey cuz then I stay with Uncle Augie. He’s Totally Crispy Dog Biscuits. We go to the park every day, an Nicholas brings Remus so we can hang out together.”
Headin’ home, thinking about how Remus had caught that fly, I was pretty sure I’d never look at chicken the same way again.
Till next time,
The Bonz
