Bonzo’s buds Fiona and Charley ‘show’ and tell

Charley [Photo: Kaila Jones]

This week I got to go to a big THEE-utter at VBHS to innerview Fiona an Charley Wiggins, who work there with their Mommy, who’s IN CHARGE. Wa-ay Cool Kibbles.

Fiona [Kaila Jones/ 32963]

It’s called the PAC, which means Puh-forming Arts Center, an we went in the Employees entrance, right to where all the excitin’ back-stage stuff happens. We walked past lumber, set pieces, an some IN-stru-mutts, then down this long hallway with a shiny floor. My toenails were real clickity. We heard a bunch more clickitys and then, from the far end, a coupla little fluffballs came zooming up to greet us.

Following a 3-pooch wag-an-sniff, the slightly larger, darker pooch said, “Hi, Bonz! WELL-come! I’m Charley! My coat’s usually not so long an fluffy, but we didn’t have time to see our groomer, Miss Stephanie, before the innerview.”

Charley was a curly-haired gold-an-white shihtzu with fluffy ears, amazin’ waterfall tail an intense ice-blue eyes, the kind that look right through you.

“No worries, ladies,” I said. “You both look great!”

The slightly smaller pooch also had curly gold fur, a liddle lighter. They both had about the same amount of Wiggle.

“Thanks, Mr. Bonzo! I’m Fiona! Call me Fee! I’m a terrier mix. We’re both rescues. My original name was, get this, Chiquita! Can you buh-LEEVE it?”

“Like the BANANA?” I asked.

“Yup. Me an Mommy both said, ‘I don’t THINK so!’ So Mommy re-named me for a lady on that TV show called, um, oh poo! What was it, Charley?”

“Burn Notice, Fee. Burn Notice!” Charley rolled her eyes like she’d reminded Fiona of that A LOT! “Come’on an meet our Mommy, Karen Wiggins.”

We went clickin’ down the hall to a real big room with a high ceiling an a coupla chairs and couches. After intros, We all sat down an I opened my notebook.

“I can’t wait to hear how you all met. An what it’s like workin’ in a real THEE-utter.”

“Well,” Fee began, “back when I was just 9 months old in human an temporarily residing at the Humane Society, an Charley wasn’t even born yet (I’m 8 an she’s just 4), Mommy had just lost Mitzi, a mini-dashchund she’d had for 17 years. Like lotsa humans do, she was thinking she didn’t want another dog ever. But her frens knew a dog could help her feel much better. ‘YOU GOTTA GETTA DOG!’ they said, an took her to the Humane Society to browse. I was in the first cage, right up front, lookin’ adorable. But she just wandered right past me.”

“Woof! I can’t imagine that,” I commented.

“I KNOW, right? In a gloomy voice, Mommy said, ‘I don’t see anything.’”

“Her frens pointed to me an said, ‘What about THIS one?’”

“Mommy came back to my cage an, the instant she ackshully SAW me, BOOM, that was IT! She took me home that very day. An right away I started havin’ the Best Life Ever!”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Well, for example, Mommy had this red scooter an she ackshully bought a red an black pooch carrier: she wore it like backpack but on the front. I fit in it perfect! She even got me a pair of Doggles! I was One Cool Canine. We rode that scooter everywhere. People were always snappin’ pickshurs like we were suh-LEH-bruddies.”

“Shut the doghouse door!” I exclaimed.

“Ever since Charley came along, we don’t do it anymore, cuz Mommy can’t carry two pooches. But that’s OK cuz I got my own SIS-ter.”

“I’ll take it from here,” said Charley, wagging her waterfall tail an shakin her fluffy ears. “So, Dr. Dan (our vet) hadda a patient who was gonna have puppies, an her human didn’t wanna keep ’em. So Dr. Dan was findin’ ’em homes. Mommy’s fren Joan, who works in the box office, told Mommy, who’d been lookin’ for a BIG dog for us, an they came to check us out. Joan got me for her daughter, an Mommy got my sister Harley for her son Jay, who lives in that big Mouse town.

“Harley was staying with Mommy an Fiona for a while till Jay could pick her up, an Mommy was still lookin’ for a BIG dog, when Joan said Things Weren’t Workin’ out with me. So Mommy said, ‘What the Woof, I guess it was meant to be,’ an she ’dopted me, even though I was the opposite of a BIG dog. Now we all three have play dates whenever Jay and Harley come to visit. We’re also pooch pals with Cooper, a Beagle, an Mommy’s frens Tiffany an Wendy’s pooch Jonah, a lab/border collie.”

“What’s your typical day like?”

“Charley’s a total Princess,” said Fiona. “So-o boring, loungin’ on the carput, lookin’ at stuff. Me, I’m a Tomboy. I could play fetch 24/7. We usually come to work an assist Mommy an Miss Doreen (the Snack Queen.)

“We ’specially love hangin’ out with the Puh-forming Arts kids. They’re Cool Kibbles! But when they’re rehearsin’, we stay outta the way, an we NEVER howl when they’re practicin’ music. We LIKE music, specially the PYAH-no.”

“MY favrite’s trombones!” Charley exclaimed, “even though I found out they’re not really bones. The theatre’s So Excitin’! We BOTH wanna be inna show! Harley played Bruiser Woods in ‘Legally Blonde’ in Tampa. NEVER stops talkin’ about it!”

“We’re learnin’ to swim,” Fiona added. “We have orange life jackets! Mommy carries us into the pool, one under each arm. Then we dog paddle around. All that plus leash walks an runnin’ in our yard gets us pretty pooped. We sleep with Mommy, of course, snugglin’ with our stuffies: mine’s Hedgie, a hedgehog. Charley has his giraffe, Raffi. We fall asleep lookin’ forward to what’s next.”

Headin’ home, I was in a happy mood thinkin’ about Fiona an Charley. An thinkin’ I could maybe be inna show someday. I can see myself as RinTinTin. Or Lassie. Ackshully, I’d probly have a better shot at playin’ Goofy.

Till next time,

The Bonz

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