Shouldering another’s burden can help you feel better

We heard a story about a tribe of Native Americans who lived in Mississippi in the early 1800s. Their camp was next to a very swift and dangerous river. The current of this river was so strong that anyone who happened to fall in or stumble in was quickly swept downstream.

One spring, the relationship between the tribe and neighboring settlers grew strained and violence seemed imminent. Eventually settlers came with weapons, attacked the tribe, and pushed it from its camp. At this critical moment, tribe members of all ages grabbed the hand of another and stumbled out hurriedly. With all other paths blocked, the people of the tribe soon found themselves with their backs against the river. Greatly outnumbered, it appeared that their only chance for escape was to cross the rushing water. They huddled together on the banks for a moment or two, offering one another encouragement, then forged ahead – straight into the river. The strong had picked up the weak and put them on their shoulders. The little children, the sick, the old, the wounded and the disabled were all lifted and carried/ Amazingly, the wading tribe made it safely across that perilous river that day. No one was swept away. Not a single life was lost to the recklessly rushing waters. Why not? Because the weight the walkers bore upon their shoulders actually helped them to keep their footing on the treacherous river bottom.

When we heard about the tribe’s manner of achieving a safe crossing, we were reminded of the number of times our faith’s stories teach us about the necessity of putting other’s concerns before our own. Of course, on first hearing, that sort of instruction can sound a bit like advocating bleak self-sacrifice and dreary duty. Especially as it seems our modern culture tempts us at every turn to “take care of number one” and urges us to indulge our own wishes. Even selfish grasping and blind ambition are scarcely noticed and rarely condemned. Self-promotion at all costs seems not only defensible, but sensible and prudent.

Yet, as the story of the wading tribe shows, caring for others doesn’t inevitably mean diminished rewards for ourselves. Paradoxically, when we think a bit less, care a bit less and engage ourselves a bit less with our own needs and concerns, we actually are likely to find greater ultimate success for ourselves. Why? Because by shouldering some of the burdens of others, we actually become “weightier” individuals, more substantial and stronger people who are able to traverse those life currents that might otherwise just sweep us away.

So who do you know that’s struggling against life’s current just now? Is there anyone you know who seems unlikely to make it without a little help? Maybe this is your chance to shoulder a burden or two. Maybe this is your opportunity to step up and offer your courage, your sense of direction, your compassion or your resources. When you do, you just may discover that miraculously, you’ve helped yourself as well.

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