I had SO much FUN on this week’s innerview. It was with three rescue pooches, all named for foodstuffs or bev-rudges: Ritzy Cracker Kane, Sugar Kane an BB Kane (BB stands for BourBon). An, since they’re all blonde, they like to say, “Blondes really do have more fun.”
Cool Kibbles, right?
Ritzy’s a 10-year-old Toy Poodle an, as the oldest, she was Official Spokespooch, although the other two were very ver-bull also; Sugar is a 20-month-old speshull-needs Chihuahua; an BB’s only 7 months old. He’s a Mixed Mutt. (He hadda D-an-A test and found out he’s mostly Coton de Tulear an Chihuahua, with some Mini Pinscher an other stuff stirred in.)
We rang, LOTSA yapping ensued, an all three zoomed up for the Wag-an-Sniffs. Ritzy, who wasn’t participating in the Bark Fest, said softly, “Do come in.”
To BB an Sugar she said, NOT softly, “Will you two Goofs SHUSH, for Lassie’s Sake!”
Then, to me, “I’m Ritzy Cracker Kane, just call me Ritzy.”
All three settled in on a big fluffy blanket and pillows that covered the couch, almost vanishing into all the fluffiness. Ritzy, a delicate lookin’ lady with very fashionable ears, innerduced the other two pooches an her Mom, Linda, an explained that their Dad, Ron, was in Heaven. “He totally loved animals. WE miss him a LOT. So, Mr. Bonzo, what would you like to know?”
“First off, how you found each other.”
“I was rescued from a breeder in Lakeland who was VERY sick an couldn’t take care of us anymore. Mom an Dad had two Poodles, Carmella an Twinky, but Carmella went to Dog Heaven cuzza grabbin’ one of those horrible, poison Bufo Toads. Twinky was all sad cuz she’d lost her sister, so they got ME as her new BFF. Outta my whole litter, Mom chose me cuz I caught her eye when I took one kibble from my bowl an tossed it in the air. It was a SIGN. Mom adopted me on her BIRTHday. Isn’t that Crispy Dog Biscuits?”
“Totally!” I agreed.
“I wanna tell mine an Sugar’s story,” said BB, who had been bouncing around, lap-jumping, nose-bumping an bringing toys to my assistant in a frenly way.
“Go for it,” I said.
“K, so, me an Sugar were both fostered with Mom’s fren Judy, who was helpin’ a Very Nice Lady, Peggy Adams, in West Palm who rescues pups like us. Mom always has a big laundry basket in her car just in case she finds That Special Pooch. (Or pooches, as the case may be.) Sugar is a Speshull Needs pooch, who was saved from Dire Circumstances, and had, like, a zillion fleas. She still has Health Issues cuzza that. Plus, she’s still nervous around STRANGERS, and gets SUPER BARKY. I think it’s called Pooch Traumatic Stress Disorder.”
Sugar spoke up. “Please don’t take a FENCE, Mr. Bonzo. It isn’t personal. Sometimes my wires get a liddle crossed.”
“None taken, Sugar, I assure you,” I told her.
“Anyway,” BB, continued, “Mom adopted Sugar first, but bein’ a bouncy puppy an all, she was getting on Ritzy’s Last Nerve. So Mom adopted me to puppy around with Sugar, which made Ritzy VERY HAPPY. I was a Stray, an I was huddled by the side of that big, scary road called the, um, the INNERstate. I coulda been Totally Smushed an I was Freakin’ Out. Then some nice humans saved me an took me to Miss Peggy, Thank Lassie. Now I’m Super Happy cuz I have my own FAMly, anna HOUSE, an lotsa space to run an play.”
“Well, you sure have a nice set-up,” I told them. “What’s your day like, usually?”
“I do a good bit of dozing,” Ritzy shared. “These two pups (Sugar an BB were tumbling around on the floor by then) play pretty much 24-7. They’re total BFFs. Chasin’ geckos is a very popular pastime, as well. And Mom an Dad built a nice big run that we can get to through two special Doggie Doors, an those ghastly Bufos can’t get in.
“Sugar’s definitely the talky-est,” Ritzy continued. “She sits an watches TV an talks to every animal that comes on. She hasta take medicine twice a day, cuz she has something I can’t per-nounce AN she’s allergic to grass. Mom hides her medicine in duh-licious liddle meatballs. Even though me an BB aren’t sick, we get meatball treats, too, but with no medicine. She says, ‘Who wants their meatballs?’ and, of course, we all come running. Then she calls, ‘Puppies,’ so Sugar and BB step forward and sit puh-lightly and get their treats. Then she calls ‘Poodles,’ an me an Mitzi step forward.
“Err, who’s Mitzi?” I asked.
“Oh, right. Mitzi Mocha’s a Toy Poodle neighbor who buh-longs to Aunt Allene. They come over for dinner and the after-dinner Meatball Ceremony almost every night.
“When Mom’s travelin,’ Auntie Michelle stays with us. She’s great. An, fun, too. We love travelin’ in the motorcoach. We even went to a-LASS-kuh once!”
“I noticed your fancy collars. What’s up with them?”
Sugar explained, “You probly noticed, we really like to bark, ’specially at that annoying pool pump when it comes on at 9 a.m. But Mom says that isn’t a neighborly thing to do, so she got us these cool Bark Collars. They’re hew-MAIN. They vibrate when we bark, to remind us to shush. They also have a really cool green light that makes us feel stylish and lets us see and be seen when it’s dark.
“Woof! That’s Cool Kibbles!”
“Every night, we curl up an watch TV with Mom’ till bedtime,” Ritzy concluded. “Then we snuggled into our great big king bed, and Mom has a smidgen of space, too, cuz we all like being together.”
Heading home, I was thinking about something Ritzy said: that it’s up for discussion as to who rescued who, because all four of them have brought happiness and comfort to the others, both pooch an human.
Till next time,
The Bonz
