Meeting poocheroos like Bruno Yoshitani-Nagy reminds me that I’ve really, REALLY gotta watch my bread intake. An my poss-chur. Bruno is a good lookin’ Giant Schnauzer who emigrated from Hungary, where he was born. I Googled: Hungary is Way Far Away, across the ocean, in Your-Up. Did you know that? I didn’t. Bruno gets lotsa beachside walks, so you might already know him.
We decided to meet at the Dog Park, where he goes a lot. Me an my assistant arrived first, an were sitting under some trees in the shade when Bruno came bounding up with his Mom an Dad.
He was a good bit taller than me, very leggy, with short black, curly hair, not the usual extra-long Schnauzer style cuzza recently getting his summer cut. He had that pawsome long beard and eyebrows, an his ears flopped over instead of bein’ pointy since they don’t bob the ears in Hungary, he later explained.
“Hey there, Bonz,” he called, trotting up for the Wag-n-Sniff, “hot enough for ya?”
“Close,” I replied.
“This is my Mommy an Daddy, Kirsten an George.”
Just then, Bruno’s Dad turned on a nearby water hose and sprayed it into the air: Bruno ran right to it, jumpin’ around all joyful an puppy-ish.
“Woof, this is EX-cellent! Join me, Bonz.”
I sure wanted to, but I was On The Clock, so I hadda decline.
Bruno ran, dripping, back to the shade, straight to a nice patch of sand-and-chips, an proceeded to roll. When he was covered with sand-and-chips from his bobbed tail to his regal nose, he pawed out a little sorta “bed” an plopped down in it.
“I can’t wait to hear how you an your Forever Famly found each other, from all the way across the ocean.”
In between pawin’ the sand an rolling his face in it, Bruno told his story. “I was born in a town called Buda-peshhht. I’m from a champion bloodline. Mommy an Daddy were lookin’ for a pooch who didn’t make humans sneeze or make their eyes wadder. I forget what that’s called. They also wanted a watchdog, but not one who’s Serious and Grumpy all the time. Didja know my breed of pooches are pleece dogs in Germany?
“Anyway, they found me through a breeder in Fort Lauderdale. Soon as he saw my pickshur, Daddy fell in love with me. I flew inna plane from Buda-peshhht to Fort Lauderdale. (I mostly dozed.) Daddy drove down to pick me up an, the MINUTE he saw me in the fur, we had this cuh-NECK-shun. I knew he was gonna be my Forever Daddy. I was 8 months old then. Now I’m 6. I’ve got a wunnerful Mommy, an a human brother an sister, Gavin, an Kendra. They are So Cool Kibbles.
“Gavin innerduced me to Fishin.’ He had this stick with a long string at the end, which he plopped into the wadder. Alluva sudden, he yanked it up real fast an there was this wiggly, shiny thing hangin’ on, boogly eyes, no legs, an I’m like, ‘Wha-at. Where’d THAT come from?’ It was a FISH. Have you ever seen one?”
“A couple times. They’re weird. Any pooch pals? What kinda stuff do you like to do?”
“My neighbor Wally’s my Best Buddy. He’s some kinda Doodle. I had a beach birthday party with my pooch pals Eli, Trinity, Goose, Winnie an Cassie (she’s in Dog Heaven now). We had dog ice cream an party hats. (I LOVE the beach.) I also have a fee-line acquaintance, Leo. We like each other but sometimes, when I forget he’s not a dog an come up for the traditional Wag-an-Sniff, he reminds me he’s a CAT, usually by zipping around real fast. Then I jump back. Cats aren’t as chummy as dogs.”
“Word,” I agreed.
“Me an Mommy an Daddy go everywhere together. (I’m ex-TREEM-ly well behaved.) Sometimes we have brunch at Grind an Grape (I love their French Toast); an there’s my FAVE spot on the beach, Countryside Citrus. Mommy an Daddy get orange juice an I get my own soft serve vanilla ice cream. Bein’ Hungarian, I like goulash, of course, an coffee. An BEER. I can hold the can an chug the last coupla of Daddy’s slurps.
“I also LOVE going out in the boat. I have my own life jacket AN a fabulous Boat Hat. One time there were these pelly-cans. I never saw anything like ’um so I tried to get closer, an fell in the wadder. THAT was a surprise. The pelly-cans flew away. I’m pretty sure they were laughing. An the boat kept going. I was like, ‘What just happened?’ They turned around, an Mommy scooped me up. I stay in the boat now.
“I can paddle board, an I like playin’ CHASE. I steal Mommy’s an Daddy’s shoes so they’ll chase me. I don’t do tricks, but I know The Basics, plus ‘On Your Mat,’ where I hafta go when I’m all wet. Oooo, an I love liddle human babies. I lick their teeny liddle toes.
“An then there’s rabbits. Once at Pet Smart, Mommy scooped up a rabbit to show me. Fascinating. I like to stare ’em down, in my yard. They sure do know how to Not Move.”
“You’re also a watchdog?”
“Absolutely. It’s my Serious Job. I’m always On Alert. An I’ve got a nice, big Woof. I sleep with Mommy an Daddy. Mommy says she feels much safer when I’m there. I also try to help by fetchin’ the mail. Trouble is, I don’t have the Bring-It-To-Mommy-an-Daddy part down yet. I sorta, well, shred it. So I get to fetch CAT-uh-logs only which, by the way, don’t have ANY cat pickshurs. Go figure. An why don’t they call ’em DOG-uh-logs?”
Heading home, I was thinkin’ about hansome, frenly Bruno, birthday partying with his pooch pals, joyfully rollin’ in the sand, eatin’ soft serve ice cream. Perhaps if I talked to Gramma …
Till next time,
The Bonz
