This week I innerviewed Lola Michelle Gormas, who’s a Moyen Golden Doodle. An the most Girlie-Girl pooch I’ve EVER met. I mean – EVER.
Just between us, even though I’m a happy, carefree bachelor poocheroo, an a pro-FESH-uh-null, experienced journalist, once in a while I wonder what it’d be like to be a famly man …
Anyway, you’re probly wonderin’ “What’s a Moyen?” I was. It means medium-sized. I had thought poodles only came in Liddle an Big.
Lola trotted right up for the Wag-an-Sniff. She was snowy white, soft as a bunny, with tight liddle ringlutts head to tail. Big, sparkly eyes. An this expression that makes you wanna get her a Pupperoni. Or ice cubes for her water. Or your favrite ball. An then there’s that prancy liddle trot …
“Good afternoon, Mr. Bonzo. It’s SUCH a PLEAS-ure to meet you. This is my Mom and Dad, Barbara an Robert. I was THRILLED when you answered my Woofmail. I was gonna wear my pink hair ribbons but I was so excited I forgot. Please call me Lola.”
Pause.
“Er, Mr. Bonzo? Are you OK?”
I reelized I’d been staring an probly had a goofy grin. I grabbed my notebook up off the floor an took a breath.
“Um …” I began suavely. “The pleasure is mine, Miss Lola. An don’t worry about the ribbons. You look wonderful!”
“Oh, that’s so sweet! So, how does this work? I’ve never been innerviewed before.”
“Just tell me about yourself, how you got your Forever Family, stuff like that.”
“Well, I was born at Moss Creek Goldendoodles. It’s real nice an veterinarian-approved, so all us Doodles are happy an well-buh-haved. My puppy daddy was an English Moyen Poodle an my puppy mommy was a Goldendoodle.
“Anyway, my Forever Mom was lookin’ for a service dog to help her with Mobility Issues. Mom an Dad found Moss Creek on line. They told the Moss Creek humans what sorta pooch they needed, then they looked at pickshurs of my litter – Scout, Daisy, Stella, Walford, Kenny G., Puca an ME, of course, an picked out a puppy. It wasn’t me.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
“When we were 8 weeks old, Mom an Dad drove up to get their puppy. The Moss Creek lady came right over to them holdin’ a puppy, but not the one they’d picked. It was ME, just a teeny fluffball. She handed me to Mom.
“‘The dog you picked wasn’t The Dog,’ she said. ‘THIS is The One. She has the right temperament and all the qualities you need for your Mobility Dog.’
“An it’s true, Mr. Bonzo. Even when I was a wee fluffball, I was smart. I paid attention. An remembered. I’m puh-lite, too. No chewin’ stuff an hidin’ stuff. Not like my goofy brother Scout. He’s the Wild One.
“Anyway, I don’t have time for all that silly stuff. I’m still goin’ to school at Dogs For Life, learnin’ how to be a Certified Service Dog. I’ve already passed my Canine Good Citizen test,” she added with pride. “You hafta do that first.”
“Woof, Miss Lola! That’s pawsome! Congrats!”
“Thank you, Mr. Bonzo.” She smiled sweetly. “It’s Very Important Stuff. Me an my classmates Good Girl, Penny, Spencer, Joey an Swag, are hopin’ to graduate in the spring. Me an Good Girl are mobility trainees an BFFs. The others are hearing trainees. It takes about 10 months, you know.”
“Woof!” I repeated, feeling like a Total Doof.
“Us mobility trainees go on field trips to learn about stuff like stairs an escalators an How To Cross Big Roads. When me an Mom practice, I get to wear my Special Trainee Vest. When I put it on I’m All Biz-nuss. I know how to push that big button to open those awduh-madic doors, an to gently pick stuff up for Mom, like her cellphone or my leash. We’ve gone to the Mall, the bank, the doctor, some rest-runts, a play an even a movie: ‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.’ I’ll never forget it.”
“That’s a lotta work, Miss Lola. Whaddya do for fun?”
“I LOVE chasin’ my ball! I also chase lizards in the mulch, an swim with my human sister Brandy in her pool. Me an my next-door BFF Sammie play a lot, too.
“OH, an THIS is Way Cool, Mr. Bonzo: Every spring, all the Moss Creek Doodles and their Forever Famlies get together for a reunion – the Moss Creek Spring Fling Doodle Romp – at a big open place with trees an stuff called Aunt Dee’s Farm. The humans an the Doodles all get along great. We’re all Off Leash an it’s The Best Time. Last year there were 297 Doodles an 300 humans. First thing my crazy brother Scout always does is take off into the pooch crowd. Lots of us look alike, and his Mom wanted to be sure she could find him in that big sea of dogs, so she dyed his ears blue with food coloring. You shouldda SEEN him. It worked, too. EVERYbuddy knew Scout.”
“Do you have a favrite food?” I asked.
“I’m not real intrested in food, ackshully. I do enjoy nibbling on a nice green bean. Or a carrot. At school, we get Chiggen Chips for treats. Now those are yummy. When my meal is served, I usually take one kibble an place it carefully on the living room rug. No one knows why. Not even me. An I am an early-to-bed, late-to-get-up kinda pooch. A girl needs her beauty sleep, after all.”
Heading home, I was pickshuring all those hundreds of Doodles happily playing together in that big field. I’m pretty sure I could pick Miss Lola Michelle Gormas out of the whole bunch, no problem. An she wouldn’t need blue ears, either.
Till next time,
The Bonz
