This week we innerviewed Giuseppe Nelson, an 8-month-old Pomeranian, black with white rear sox. Giuseppe’s one of the liddlest (almost 7 pounds), bounciest poocheroos I’ve ever met. And CUTE? He’s one of those spunky, bright-eyed, curly-tailed fluff-muffins who take cute to a whole new level: the Creme de la Cute.
He lives at the top of a winding staircase, an his Mom and him came bouncing down it to greet me an my assistant. Well, Giuseppe was bouncing. An twirling, an doing liddle dance steps on his back feet.
“BONzo! WELcome! I am totally stoked to meet you In The Fur! Come’on UP! This is my Mom, Lee. My Dad Steve’s upstairs!”
And up he bounded like a fluffy liddle guhZELLE, even though the steps were taller than him. I followed at a more conservative pace, an only dropped my notebook once. Giuseppe’s place was Super Cool Dog Biscuits, lotsa space an a big window an a balcony that looked right out on the ocean.
“Woof, that’s some staircase!” I puffed.
“I KNOW! At first Dad hadda carry me up an down ’em when I hadda go Do My Doodie, which was a lot at first. Now I’m great at the stairs an I don’t hafta Do My Doodie as much cuz I’m gettin’ to be a Big Boy.”
Big bein’ a relative term, I thought to myself. After meeting Giuseppe’s dad, I got out my notebook. “Can’t wait to hear your story,” I told him.
“OK. I’m ready. First off, just so you know, being this cute is sometimes a BURden.”
“How so?” I inquired.
“Well, I look all cuddly and wuddly, an I do like snuggles, but you won’t find me in a Puppy Purse any time soon. I consider myself a Big Dog in a Liddle Dog suit. Anyway, bein’ Super Cute is mostly a PLUS. Oh, an, I’m Really Smart. I just graduated FIRST in my class from PetCo Puppy Training 1 and 2. They all call me The Boss. I’m great with My Fellow Dogs.”
“Dude! Pawsome!” I said. As Giuseppe talked about his life, he munched onna raspberry-colored squeaky ball, (which looked great against his black fur). The squeaks punctuated his story.
“So, I was born inna kennel called Liddle Town of Pomeranians, which Mom an Dad found On Line. Just me an my sister were left, an it was a close one for a minute. The Kennel Man wanted to keep me, but the Kennel Lady say NO! Thank Lassie, she won, so Mom an Dad got me. An Dog! was I lucky!
“Indoors, I often sit on the back of the couch an gaze out at the ocean. I also spend time on the balcony, sniffin’ the breeze an ponderin’ stuff. It’s so Zen. But when I see other humans or dogs on MY beach, I admit I get a liddle territorial an start yapping. (I wish I had one of those Serious German Shepherd Barks, but what are you gonna do?)
“Mom an Dad love the water, an so do I. When I was only 8 weeks old, they took me out in a speed boat, an it was PAWsome! I have my own floatation vest, of course. Me an Mom kayak on the river, an I sit in our boat an watch Mom water ski. I wanna learn how to do that, but I’m not sure how I’d hold the rope. I also love playin’ on the beach.”
“Oh, and SOX! I take ’em to a quiet spot and chew ’em. But only one atta time. Sometimes Dad has to wear one black an one white sock. I think it’s cool, but I’m not sure he does.”
“I notice you’ve got a lotta energy,” I stated the obvious.
“Oh, Woof, yes! I get, like, four walks a day. I have this cool kibbles hoodie for when it’s chilly.”
His Mom brought it out an put it on Giuseppe. Well, I thought my ears’d pop off, tryin’ to keep from laughin.’ It was hilarious an cool at the same time. An TEENY. Looked liked a size XXXXS. It hadda gray hood. The rest was a black an white cat-skull-and-crossbones pattern.
“Rock on! But what’s up with the cat skulls?”
“Oh, yeah, that. The dog hoodies were too big for me, so Dad hadda get a cat hoodie. But, hey, I got nothing against cats. Not that I ever met one.
“You know what I really, really like doin’? CAMPIN’! Inna TENT. Mom an Dad call it PRIM-uh-tive Campin.’ I have my crate in there, an one or two squeaky toys. Dog, is it fun! When we were campin’ last November, a gang of rowdy raccoons raided our camp site.
“I really wanted to go out there an give ’em What For, but Mom an Dad said NO. Those poop-faced raccoons ate a hole in our cooler; even worse, they stole Mom’s an Dad’s steaks, an even more worse, MY dog biscuits. They even took the top off the catchup bottle an slurped all the catchup out. So rude!”
“Got any pooch pals?”
“Our neighbor Bob’ pooches are cool. I usta play with Lexie, but she went to Dog Heaven. Now there’s just Dexter an Pixie. Me and Dex hang out, but Pixie’s too shy. An there’s Cat an Nancy. They’re humans, an they always paws their joggin’ to talk to me when I’m havin’ my walk. Hey, wouldja like a liddle snack? They’re ginger pumpkin grain-free!”
“Well, maybe just one for the road. Thanks!”
Heading home I was smiling,’ picturing Giuseppe in his hoodie, an how enthusiastic he was about pretty much everything. Except raccoons. By the time I got home, the Ginger Pumpkin snack was history. I’m, for sure, gonna tell Grandma and Grandpa about those.
Till next time,
The Bonz
