This week’s interview was with a real squared-away poocheroo, handsome, great posture, friendly as anything. Jasper Nuttall is a Yorkie-Poo who works on the beach with a bunch of human CPAs. (That means they know a lot about money, and help other humans with what they call “taxes”, ‘specially once every year – I bet you’ve noticed – when your humans root around in their desks and file cabinets and get grumpy, and, when you wanna play, they tell you “Go Lie Down” ‘cuz they’re trying to concentrate.)
Anyway, Jasper is the Lead Greeter, in charge of two other pooches, Bella and Griffon, and one human, Jackie. Soon as me and my assistant walked into their office, Jasper trotted over for the Wag-and-Sniff. He has very short, VERY curly apricot-colored hair, and a brisk, no-nonsense walk.
“Good afternoon! You’re Mr. Bonzo, right? I noticed your notebook! C’mon back to my office. This is our Receptionist, Jackie, and THIS is my Dad, Scott.”
Jasper led the way down the hall, into a nice office, with chairs and a couch, and jumped onto the couch right next to my assistant. “This is my first interview,” he said. “I had my picture in a magazine once, but I was just part of the décor. So, what’s the drill?”
I told him to just tell me about his life, and I’d ask a few questions.
“I can do that! OK, so, before me, Dad had a Dachshund who’d always greet his human sisters, Hannah and Taylor, when they got home from school. Then Dad got divorced and moved to another house. But the Dachshund didn’t get to go. And the girls missed having a dog greet them every day, so they told Dad he should get another dog. He wanted a dog that was good with humans, non-shedding and hypoallergenic.”
“Non-shedding and, what was that other thing?”
“It means you don’t make humans sneeze and cough and get sniffles and itchy eyes.”
“Oh. That’s a good idea. Go on.”
“Dad did some research and decided on a Yorkie-Poo. He checked the shelters but, no luck. Then he found a breeder in Fellsmere who had puppies, 3 months old, me and two littermates. Naturally, Dad picked me. When he came to get me, Hannah and Taylor, and Dad’s sister and parents came, too. So we all got to know each other on the way to my Forever Home.
“I’ll be 4 next March, but when I was still a puppy, I was a Shoe Chewer. Yep, back in my reckless youth, I took down many a shoe. No footwear was safe. But now I’m all grown up and only chew my toys. They usually last a coupla weeks. Except my FAVORITE!”
He jumped down, grabbed a round-ish purple squishy-thing, jumped back up and began chewing. It was a rubber pig. Most of a pig.
“Where’s its head?”
“Me and Hannah’s friend played tug-o-war and we both won.”
“Mmmm, I see. How’d you get your job here?”
“Three of our five human partners wanted to bring their dogs to work. So they had a vote. And here we are. We really contribute to the business. We’re good for morale. We all love humans. Honestly, Bonzo, I enjoy being with dogs and humans just the same. When we get to work, me, Bella and Griffon get the run of the office for an hour, to get rid of extra energy.
“After that, we stay in our offices. Three times a day, the humans take turns walking us. In the rare event one of our clients is not a Dog Person, we know how to Stay Out Of The Way.
“At home I do my other job, Security Chief. Nobody gets by ME. I keep watch out the window from my perch on the couch.”
“Any special dog buddies?”
“Sure, my next-door neighbor, Bella, she’s a Maltese. Our humans gently toss us over the fence into each other’s backyards so we can play. Sometimes,” he lowered his voice, “the yard guys or the pool guys accidently leave the gate open just a little, and, I can’t help myself, I sneak out to visit my pooch pals. I know Dad isn’t thrilled about it, but still … PLUS, he bribes me with treats to get me to come back. I’d come back anyway, but, if I can get a treat by waiting a little longer, well, why not?”
“I see where you’re comin’ from,” I told him.
“Me and Dad play fetch at the dog park, and usually a bunch of my pooch pals join in. I also chase squirrels. Dog, I could chase squirrels all day long! I’m not into tricks, but I can stand on my hind legs when Dad dangles a rope. My record’s 30 seconds. I’m trying for a minute!”
“You’re very well-groomed,” I said. “Do you have a personal groomer?”
“I do, although, to be honest, I don’t enjoy it. But when you’re receiving clients all day, you gotta look professional. What’s fun is showers. Me and Dad shower together, once a week. It’s our Sunday routine. I even have special shampoo. And I sleep with Dad, ’cept when he snores. Then I go to my own bed and cover my ears.”
“Well, you two guys sure seem like the perfect team!” I told him. “It’s been great yapping with you!”
Heading home, I was wondering whether I was hypoallergenic, and made a note to ask my Mom.
Till next time,
The Bonz
