BONZ: Betty the blogger joins local bipeds on the internet

SEBASTIAN — A dog with a blog? Yep. I met her last week.

Her name is Betty, and she is a proud 7-year-old pit bull/Staffordshire terrier.

“Don’t be intimidated by my being a pit bull, Bonzo,” Betty said. “Although my breed is known for its intelligence, fearlessness and loyalty, I am also extremely affectionate, trustworthy and have a natural fondness for humans.

“I am super-friendly and enthusiastic about life. I express my joy by jumping up, nuzzling and giving everyone kisses. But don’t get me wrong, Bonzo. I do enjoy bossing other dog buddies around.”

Betty told me she lives with her two bipeds in Sebastian.

Huh? Bipeds?

“Uh, Betty,” I said. “I don’t know what a biped is.”

Betty looked at me curiously.

“You know, Bonzo. The two-footed humans that feed and take care of us.”

“Right,” I said, feeling a bit stupid. “Do your bipeds have names?”

“Of course they do, Bonzo,” Betty said rolling her eyes. “The tall one is my best friend and savior. His name is Hal Morgan. The short one feeds me. Her name is Sharon Morgan.”

“How come you call Hal your savior?” I asked.

“Well, Bonzo,” Betty said, “I know I’m being a bit dramatic but I like to tell people Hall sprang me out of the slammer. I was hanging out at the Humane Society when Hal saw me and thought I was the most beautiful puppy he had ever seen. Hal and Sharon adopted me that very day.”

“Aw, what a sweet story,” I said. “Tell me what a typical day is like for you, Betty.”

“Sure, Bonz,” Betty said. “The short biped is the first one up and she lets me out in the backyard by the big cement drinking bowl. I bark at the birds and chase lizards and when I come back in the den, my breakfast is ready.”

“Then it’s nap time,” Betty said. “After a good snooze, I go to my favorite place to see my buddies Elsa, Petey, Duke and a spotted dog (I don’t know his name) at the Sebastian Bark Park.

“I love to have fun and I’m always in a good mood, Bonzo,” Betty said. “I like to play rope-a-dope, and toss and catch my tennis ball.”

“What about your blog, Betty?” I asked.

“Oh, that,” Betty said. “Well, my blog is called Brindle Betty’s Bodacious Blog but I haven’t kept up with it lately. I’ve been very busy.”

“But Betty,” I said. “After your story appears in the Sebastian River News, your blog will receive lots of hits. Maybe you should do a little updating. Some of the other local bloggers would give just about anything for a plug in my column.”

“But Bonzo,” Betty said. “I’m very busy.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll manage Betty,” I said. “You’re clearly smarter and more interesting than most of the other local bloggers, anyway.”

“You’re right, Bonzo,” Betty said. “I have no self-esteem issues.”

We should all be as lucky as Betty.

Till next time,

The Bonz

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