BONZ: Max and Mr. Wilson are 2 ‘official’ office greeters

SEBASTIAN — Maximillian Von Dimond (aka Max) recently sent me an email which said, “My mom reads me your column every week and I find it riveting that there are so many cool dogs in our little town of Sebastian.”

I find it cool Maximillian’s mom reads him my column.

Max, a 10-year-old miniature schnauzer, lives with his human parents Shannon and David Dimond, his human siblings Maddie and Jake, and 8-year-old Mr. Wilson, another miniature schnauzer.

“Hi Max. It’s nice to meet you. I can honestly say I’ve never interviewed a miniature schnauzer,” I said when we met.

“Seriously?” Max asked surprised. “Let me enlighten you, Bonz. We miniature schnauzers are the most popular of the three schnauzer breeds which include the giant and the standard. As a matter of fact, miniature schnauzers are a cross between a standard schnauzer, a poodle and an aftenpinscher.”

An aften-what? I thought.

“Fascinating,” I said.

“I usually don’t name-drop, Bonzo,” Max said, “but Senators Bob and Elizabeth Dole, Mary Tyler Moore, actor Bill Cosby, and actor Bruce Lee have all had miniature schnauzer buddies. But don’t get me wrong. Mr. Wilson and I are not fancy, slacker dogs. We work for a living.”

“No kidding,” I said. “What do you boys do?”

“We have a job Monday thru Friday at an office just like you do. We work with our mom at dad’s office called Raymond James Financial Services. I am the official Office Greeter and Mr. Wilson is the official Assistant Office Greeter. ”

“Pawsome,” I said. “So your job description is basically to say ‘hi’ to everyone who comes in your dad’s office, right?”

“Bonzo, being an Office Greeter involves way more than it may sound,” Max said slightly offended. “Our jobs are very important. We greet our clients, Bill (our UPS guy) and any reps that come by to meet our mom or dad. Clients enjoy having us in the office when they come to talk to dad about their retirement and finances.”

“I meant no offense, Max,” I said.

“I’m sorry, Bonz,” Max said. “I guess I’m a bit sensitive about the seriousness of being the official Office Greeter. You see, after about five years on the job, my Mom caught me sleeping during work hours.

“Mom said I needed some younger blood around to put some pep in my step. So my family adopted Mr. Wilson from Schnauzer Rescue. In addition to my job as Office Greeter, I had to train Mr. Wilson. I had to teach him how to greet people, but not jump on them. And to not run out of the office.

“It took a few months, but I’m happy to report Mr. Wilson is an above-average Office Greeter,” Max said proudly.

“Well Max,” I said, “It sounds like you and Mr. Wilson fit right in with the riveting dogs of Sebastian.”

“Why, thank you, Bonzo,” Max said. “What a lovely thing to say.”

Till next time,

The Bonz

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